


Without Which

by Nerd_alert19



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25751209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_alert19/pseuds/Nerd_alert19
Summary: An A/U that toggles between past and present. Laura and Bill met years before and fell in love, but circumstances and their stubbornness forced them apart. Now circumstances and Cylons are pushing their paths back together, but will the choices they made be different this time?
Relationships: William Adama/Laura Roslin
Comments: 123
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

_ Sine Qua Non: without which not. Those things we deem essential. Without which… we cannot bear living. Without which… life in general loses its specific value… becomes abstract. _

Present:

She hated these events. She hated everything about them from the pomp and ceremony to the over-dressed attendees and stifling conversations she would have to endure throughout the night. She was tired and longed to just be spending the evening curled up on her couch with a glass of wine and a good book, but part of her job in the President's cabinet was putting in some  face time at these types of events so she had pulled the gown and uncomfortable heels from her wardrobe and gave up her beloved sweatpants and mystery book for the evening. 

She made her rounds and carefully tried to avoid Richard Adar. His advances were making her more and more uncomfortable, and it was getting hard enough to avoid him at work. She didn't want to think about how easily his hands might try to wander once he had a few drinks in him tonight. She glanced around the room trying to remember who or what tonight's event was for. She vaguely remembered her aide mentioning something about it being military related, but she had been in the middle of looking through the latest demands from the teacher's union and just told her to put it on her calendar. 

The sound of the band finishing the latest number was contrasted with the sharp sounds of the microphone squeaking just a bit as President Adar tried to get the crowds attention.  She grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and made sure she was blended enough into the crowd to not gain  the  president’s attention from the stage as she respectfully waited out his presentation. 

He was waxing poetic about the military , and she rolled her eyes as discreetly as she could manage. So , it was one of those functions. She tuned Richard out a minute later. It was hard to listen to him  drone on  about how valuable the military was to the colonies when he had ranted only yesterday about what a waste to the  budget they all were. No Cylons for 25 years was enough for him to  want to  decommission every last ship and dissolve the military. She was glad he didn't have the power to do that. Even the president had his limits , and she was once again reminded of how great it was to live in a democracy with its checks and balance systems. She sipped her champagne and her eyes scanned the room for familiar faces. Other members of the cabinet were here, but she wasn't particularly close to any of them. Once again , she found herself reminded of how alone she was. 

She reluctantly turned her eyes back to the stage just to have her chest tighten and all the air rush from her lungs painfully. She knew Adar was speaking, but the loud thumping of her heart had drowned out all the sound until all she heard was the unsteady whooshing of her heartbeat in her ears. 

"At this  time, we would like to honor Commander  William  Adama for his 40 years of military service and dedication to protecting the colonies."

She felt as though she couldn't breathe as she watched him take the stage to receive the plaque and medal of service he was being awarded. Her heart beat wildly at the sight of him decked in those military grays she loved seeing him in. She found him as handsome as he was all those years ago. She slipped a little out of the crowd to allow herself a moment to admire the thick hair that she knew felt tantalizingly soft beneath her fingertips and broad shoulders that felt warm beneath her cheek. His eyes were still the sharp cobalt blue that made her heart race even when they held the clear discomfort that she read in them now. She smiled to herself. He was hiding it surprisingly well, but he hated this. She could tell even though it had been years since they had seen each other. She hated herself for knowing that it had been exactly ten years and eight months since she walked away from him that night. She would have never come if she had known this night was for him. She was certain he was still on his Battlestar millions of miles away. She had made it a point to keep track of his location throughout the years, and had painstakingly worked to make sure they were never in the same place at the same time. It all felt so long ago now as she watched him step forward, and a knot formed in her belly as he approached the microphone. 

He pulled a card from his pocket and placed it in front of him on the podium. She knew it held his speech which he had no doubt practiced until he could recite it with the same military precision with which he went over battle plans with his men. Her heart ached at the memory of a night so long ago spent curled up on his couch with a soft blanket and mug of tea watching him practice a speech. She'd sat giggling as she made silly suggestions for helping him remember his main points until he could no longer keep his own smile from his face. He'd tossed the cards and she'd barely had time to set her tea safely down on the coffee table before she was pinned beneath him on the couch. Her giggles had turned to sighs of pleasure as his lips trailed a warm path down her neck and his fingers transitioned from tickling to caressing. She had been blissfully happy that night and just as content the next morning sitting on his kitchen counter stealing tastes of pancake batter from the bowl until he had managed to distract her with kisses and soon got distracted himself. They ate bowls of cereal later wrapped in blankets trying to stay warm with all the windows open in an attempt to clear out the smoke from their forgotten pancakes. Neither of them could stop smiling the rest of the day, and any time after that when someone mentioned pancakes, they'd share a smile with eyes dancing in remembrance. She still couldn't bring herself to eat pancakes now so many years removed from that moment. 

He held the card in his hand for a moment before pulling his eyes up and away from the words written there to scan the crowd before him. She could tell the moment he saw her. His eyes widened just a fraction as they locked with hers and his jaw clenched. She watched him  steel himself and take a deep breath before turning his attention back to the carefully composed speech in his hand.  The deep timbre of a voice she’d always found comfort in before washed over her, and she almost closed her eyes at the sound. 

"The Cylon War is long over, yet we must not forget the reasons why so many sacrificed so much in the cause of freedom. The cost of wearing the uniform can be high ..." he paused, and her heart ached as his eyes once more found hers and held them captive, "but sometimes it's too high. You know, when we fought the Cylons, we did it to save ourselves from extinction. But we never answered the question, why? Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed, spite, jealousy. And we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anything that we've done. Like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. When that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn't our fault, not really. You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore. You honor me tonight...and I deeply appreciate the gesture. I share this with the men and women who refuse to let down their guard. Those brave men and women who still sacrifice too much, because peace doesn't always last and we can't afford to take it for granted." His eyes softened and a look of pain crossed them. It hurt her to watch but she couldn't bear to look away as he continued. "This is for those who have given up the most precious things in their universe...who had to give up that which mattered most to make sure it stayed safe and protected. No one else could ever understand what it's like to have to live with that choice...and I share this honor with them. Thank you again."

She wiped the tears from her cheek as the crowd erupted in applause. It was all too much. She set her flute down on the closest surface and moved towards the exit. She needed to get home before she drowned in the pain radiating from her heart. She felt sick and broken, and she could barely see through the veil of tears blurring her vision. 

She pushed out the doors and gulped in the night air. She put her hand over her mouth to hold back the sob as her eyes closed tightly. She was shaking and her heart couldn't find an acceptable rhythm. The sound of footsteps behind her had her quickly wiping away tears. 

"Were you planning to sneak out without saying goodbye?"

'Not now' she thought as she desperately tried to compose herself enough to deal with the  confrontation. She put on her best false smile and turned to face him. 

"I'm not feeling well, Mister President. I thought it best to get home."

There was no look of concern in his eyes as they raked over her. It could be that she wasn't a very convincing liar, but she knew it was far more likely that he considered her in a weakened state to be to his advantage.  She’d chosen a more conservative dress for the evening. Long and flowing red fabric that covered her modestly, but he looked at her as though he could see everything beneath. It made her stomach roll. 

"It's just Richard when we're alone, Laura," he reminded her once again, "I'll have my limo pull around. I can take you home. It's got a spacious back seat you can stretch out in. It might help you feel better."

She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as he moved closer. She wasn't sure how many drinks he had throughout the night, but she wouldn't even be foolish enough to get into the car with him if he were stone-cold sober. 

"That's not necessary, Mr. President, you should get back to the party. I'm sure your wife is wondering where you've wandered off to." She said pointedly and took a step back to create some distance between them, but he just took two more towards her. 

" It’s  Richard, Laura. We're all alone out here...please, just call me Richard. I'm going to call for the car now."

"No thank you, Mr. President." She tried again and flinched when his hand wrapped around her wrist. She tried to pull it away, but he just grinned and tightened his grip.

"I think you're just being a tease, Laura, and all those long hours alone together were just to make me want you more."

"All those hours alone together were to work on the  cut you were trying to make in the colonial education budget before the teachers went on strike." She reminded him and took another step back. 

Her heart dropped as she felt  her back bump into the hard surface of  the garden wall, and the look in his eyes turned feral as he realized the position that he'd worked her into. 

"You were so distracting.... your scent.... your body...I don't even remember what we talked about..." he trailed off and leaned into her space.

She put her free hand on his chest and pushed back.  "We talked about unfair salary cuts, Mr. President, please, I just really want to go home."

His eyes darkened and his voice dropped as he coaxed, "Just relax, Laura..."

"Laura,"  a new voice rang out , and her body was torn between relief at the interruption and the ache his voice brought. 

Richard stepped back to a more appropriate distance as their guest approached. "Sorry for the delay,  i t took a minute to get your coat. I couldn't find the claim ticket."

She could have cried at the realization of what he was doing.  "Oh, I'm sorry! I have the ticket in my clutch," she lied and took the coat he held out to her. 

"Commander Adama," Richard spoke up, "I didn't realize you knew Dr. Roslin."

Bill gave a polite smile to Richard  and  stepped closer to her . Her back burned from the protective hand that he placed against it.  "We've known each other for over a decade.  She's very important to me."

Richard’s watchful gaze moved between the two of them slowly as a predator would study its prey.  "That's funny, Laura's never mentioned you before,"  he pointed out with a smug smile. 

Bill's polite smile held its form as he nodded.  "Of course , I can't imagine many personal conversations coming up between the President and one of his cabinet members. I'm sure a highly professional man like yourself wouldn't have time for fraternizing with your staff. ”  Richard’s eyes narrowed angrily, but Bill  continued, “ Well....I'm sorry we're keeping you, Mister President, I'm sure you'd like to get back to the party, and I need to get Laura home. It was a pleasure to  see you, Sir."

'Dismissed' is what he really wanted to say , and she wished he would. She desperately wanted to go home and scrub her arm where Richard had touched her. 

"Commander," he nodded and then turned to her with a look in his eyes that told her their conversation was far from over. "I'll see you soon, Laura."

"Mr. President," she said with a polite nod and held her breath while he  made his way back through the glass doors and into the party once more. 

"This isn't my coat," she said as she turned to him and held out the garment.

"I know," he admitted with a shrug and took the jacket back, "I  grabbed the first one I saw when I looked out and saw him backing you towards the wall."

"Thank you," she whispered and rubbed her wrist. 

He studied her carefully and she tried not to squirm under his scrutiny. "Are you okay, Laura? Did he hurt you?"

"Maybe a little bruise," she said with a soft smile in an attempt to appear more unfazed by what had happened. "I'll be fine."

He took her wrist gently between his hands and carefully examined it in the dim garden lights .  His fingertips whispered over the red marks carefully.  "Has he done something like this before?"

Her brain was fuzzy from the effect his fingertips were having on her skin. His touch was  gentle and  though he barely touched her, the sensation  made her thoughts harder to gather. A look of anger crossed his face, and she realized her delay in responding was giving him the wrong idea.

"No ...” she assured him “ he’s made suggestions ... a few passes ... but nothing like tonight. I think he may have had a few drinks in him."

"That's no excuse. I don't care who the man is, he has no right to..."

"Bill," she interrupted and  gave him a small  reassuring  smile. "I'm okay. I just want to go home and forget the whole thing."

"Let me get my car," he offered, but she held up her hand to object.

"It's really not necessary, Bill. I'll be fine ,” she protested. 

His eyes narrowed and she tried not to buckle under the weight of his stare. "If you think for one second that there is any way that I'm not going to see you safely to your door after what just happened, then you don't know me as well as I thought you once did."

She wanted to cry thinking about how well she once knew him, but she would not break in front of him. She wasn't the fragile woman he'd left behind. Instead, she stood up straighter and nodded in acceptance. "Let's go then."

He relaxed in relief that she wasn't going to turn this into one of their infamous arguments and held up the jacket with a sheepish shrug. "Let me just pass this off to the valet to return while we wait for the car."

She laughed and shook her head at the unfamiliar sound. How long had it been since she had laughed?

He stepped over to the valet to hand over the jacket and the claim ticket for his car, and she wondered how she'd ended up in this moment accepting a ride from the ghost of her past. 

She had been so sure she would never see him again, but here he was stepping into the role of protector once more. 

She'd spent the last ten and a half years running away from him and in one night she'd managed to crash right back into him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote at the start was made my Romo Lampkin to the Admiral during the ep Sine Qua Non, and was by far the most romantic words spoken so I borrowed them. The credit belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the brilliant writing staff of BSG.


	2. Chapter 2

_12 years earlier_

_She was_ _already_ _running late._ _She had spent too long deciding what to wear, and then her blow dryer died halfway through drying her hair and she'd had to settle for pulling her hair half up to make it even slightly manageable. She was already stressed over being fifteen minutes late, but now she was_ _pulled over_ _on the side of the road with a flat tire. She would be lucky to make it for the end of the movie, but there was no way she would make it for dinner. She'd had bad luck on first dates before_ _,_ _but missing it entirely was by far the worst luck to date._ _She turned her hazard lights on and pressed her head against the steering wheel in frustration. She had really been looking forward to their date. She ran her hands over her face and jumped at the sound of knocking on her window. She rolled the window down cautiously as she_ _addressed the man standing by her car door._

_"Can I help you?"_

_"Actually, I stopped to see if I could help you."_

_"I'm fine. It's just a flat I'm just going to call someone to come fix it."_

_"It'_ _ll take them a while to get here. I could have it changed for you in no time."_

_"It's really okay_ _... I’ll_ _just..."_

_"Pop the trunk"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"That's where your spare will be. Look, you can wait here if you want, but it will be half an hour at least if_ _you're_ _lucky. It's getting dark, and these backroads aren't the safest. Just pop the trunk, and I'll change it for you."_

_"I appreciate it, but I think I'd rather just call."_

_"Suit yourself," he said but made no move to head back to his own car. Instead, he leaned back against the side of her car like he was making himself comfortable._

_"Was there something else?" she asked with irritation edging on her voice._

_He simply shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "I can't just leave you out here by yourself. It's not safe. I'll just wait here until they come and fix it for you."_

_"That really isn't necessary," she argued with a huff of frustration._

_"My parents would say otherwise. They taught me to respect women and_ _always do right by them_ _.... even_ _when they're being unreasonably stubborn. So, I'll wait here until help arrives."_

_"Suit yourself," she huffed in an echo of his earlier reply. She rolled the window back up and called for roadside assistance._

_Her heart sank when they informed her that they were really backed up and it would be at least an hour before they could make it to her but more likely two. She sent a quick apology to Nathan for missing their date and tossed her phone back into her bag with a sigh._ _She glanced at her side mirror to see that he'd gone back to his car and retrieved a book_ _and_ _was now leaning casually against the boot of her car with his eyes focused on the page he had opened to. He wasn't really her type_ _,_ _but she couldn't deny that he was handsome. Her eyes traveled over the reflection of him in her mirror cataloging broad shoulders and an athletic build._ _His jeans and dark sweater fit well and hugged the well-toned muscles underneath. She turned her eyes away when her mouth started to go a little dry._

_She really did not want to ask him for help after she had been so rude to him, but she decided to suck it up and took a calming breath before reaching down to pop the trunk._ _He didn't even flinch as it opened and kept his eyes glued to the book in his hands. Sh_ _e took another breath before opening the door and stepping out of the car. She squared her shoulders and prepared herself for his smug look or caustic remark about her previous stubbornness, but he simply closed the book and handed it to her._

_"Do you mind keeping it safe for me until I'm done?"_

_It took her a moment to process, but she nodded and held the book_ _to her chest_ _as he moved towards her trunk. She watched as he removed the floor panel and revealed the spare tire and tools he would need and then set to work_ _loosening the lug nuts._ _She blushed when he took his sweater off to avoid getting it dirty_ _and moved to put_ _the_ _jack in position._ _She took the chance to admire those broad shoulders and firm chest which she could see better in just his undershirt. His voice had her looking away quickly._

_"I'm going to put this in your trunk when I'm done," he explained. "It might just need a patch. You can take it to your mechanic and have them check it over for you. A patch would save you the cost of having to buy a new tire, but you'll want to do that soon. It's not a good idea to drive anymore on this spare than you have to."_

_"Oh..._ _thank you,” she replied, and he nodded before setting back to the task at hand. She continued watching for a moment before her guilt got the best of her. “_ _You're being very helpful after I was terribly rude to you," she said with a sheepish shrug. "I'm sorry about that_ _."_

_"No worries. You were frustrated," he said dismissively, but she shook her head as she leaned against the car_ _to get a better view of his work._

_"That's no excuse,” she sighed and traced her finger up and down the spine of his book_ _absently._ _“_ _I'm...I'm Laura_ _by the way."_

_"Bill," he replied and looked up at her with a smile and blue eyes that made her heart speed up._

_She wasn’t prepared for the jolt she felt when he’d turned his gaze on her and she felt flustered. She had the sudden impulse to run her fingers through his thick hair to see just how soft it was but decided to tamp it down with the distraction of conversation._ _"So, Bill_ _,” she started “_ _what brings you on these back roads anyway? I'm not keeping you from something am I?"_

_He grabbed the spare tire and started maneuvering it in place on the lug bolts._ _"There's an old bookstore not far from here. I'd just come from picking up the one you're holding and was heading to pick up something to eat when I saw your lights flashing."_

_"I'm grateful you stopped_ _.” She spoke sincerely and suddenly an idea struck her, and she spoke before she could consider it. “_ _There's a diner not far from here. Can I take you there for dinner when you're done to say thanks?"_ _She asked and wasn't sure what she was thinking in offering, but she was even more concerned that she was holding her breath waiting for him to answer._

_"That's not_ _necessary_ _."_

_"My parents would say otherwise," she said, and he smiled at the reference to the words he'd said earlier. "They taught me to always show my gratitude when someone does something for me_ _...especially when I was initially too stubborn to accept it. So, I'd like to take you to dinner."_

_"If you insist," he said with a smirk and the deep gravelly tone sent a delightful shiver up her spine._

_A smirk of her own stole across her face, and her eyes sparkled with playful authority, "I do, sir."_

_"Okay then,” he chuckled and grabbed another lug nut, and started twisting it in place. “_ _Let me just get this spare secured."_

_She watched him work and could easily claim she was trying to learn what to do if she ever found herself needing to change the tire in the future, but she was really admiring_ _the way his arms flexed as_ _he_ _twisted the_ _pieces_ _back in place to secure the tire. She usually went for the tall_ _,_ _blonde_ _,_ _smooth-talking_ _,_ _educated type_ _;_ _but she was starting to see the appeal of something a little more_ _.... rugged_ _. She blushed as she realized she was standing there fantasizing about a total stranger who was simply being a good Samaritan. It was highly likely that she wasn't_ _HIS_ _type. She ignored the little whisper of disappointment_ _the_ _thought_ _of that_ _brought._

_"All done," he announced as he stood_ _looking_ _at his dirty hands_ _helplessly_ _and glanced back towards his car._

_She grabbed a towel from the gym bag in her trunk. "Here," she announced as she offered it to him._

_"I don't want to ruin it," he said with a shake of his head._

_"It's cheaper than roadside service," she laughed_ _,_ _"I insist."_

_He nodded and_ _moved to take_ _the towel from her_ _, but she held it and_ _placed a hand on his wrist_ _. “Let me…” she said and reached into her bag to pull out a water bottle._

_She carefully opened_ _it and_ _held his hands out with one hand while she slowly poured the water_ _over them_ _with her other._ _Her fingers rubbed gently at the smudges of_ _grease and oil until they_ _disappeared._

_“All done,” she announced and handed him the towel_ _._

_He_ _dried his hands_ _with a nod of thanks_ _before handing the towel back to her and grabbing his sweater. She tossed the towel in and closed the trunk as she tried to avoid watching him_ _pull the sweater in place._

_She was dangerously close to volunteering to help_ _with that too_ _and needed to get a grip._

_"So... you can just follow me to the diner," she offered and_ _handed him back his book_ _._

_"You really don't have to...it was really no trouble," he said, and she couldn't quite explain the wave of disappointment that washed over her. She didn't even know him, but she wasn't quite ready to say goodbye. Apparently, he was, but she decided to try one more time._

_"Surely your parents taught you not to_ _stand a lady up once you've made dinner plans."_

_She watched as a smile tugged at the corner of his lips, "They did indeed."_

_"Then follow me to the diner, Bill," she called out with a feeling of triumph as she moved towards the driver's side of her car. She was startled at first when he reached around her to open the door for her, but she smiled and shook her head._

_"Your parents did well, Bill."_

_He gave no response_ _,_ _but his eyes danced playfully as he waited for her to buckle in and_ _then carefully_ _closed the door_ _for her_ _._

_She took a deep breath before starting the car and carefully pulling it onto the road. She'd be lying if she said she didn't occasionally glance in her rearview mirror to ensure he was still behind her. She should send his parents a thank you note._

_They settled into a booth across from each other, and she suddenly felt a little awkward sitting here having dinner with this stranger. She_ _knew_ _nothing more than his name and_ _apparent_ _good parentage, and she wasn't exactly sure what to say to strike up a conversation. He didn't seem in much of a hurry to chat anyway as he perused the menu. Thankfully the waitress stopped by their table and took their orders._

_With no menus to distract them, she was once more feeling the strain of awkward silence between them._

_"So..." they both began, and she let out a soft chuckle. At least she knew now he was feeling it too. He held out a hand in a gesture for her to speak first_ _._

_"What is it that you do, Bill, when you're not picking up books and helping damsels in distress?"_

_He laughed softly with a shake of his head, "I can't imagine you as a damsel in distress. I'm_ _quite_ _sure you're the kind of woman who would have eventually got_ _ten_ _frustrated with the wait and popped the trunk and figured it out yourself."_

_"Probably," she agreed with a laugh and thanked the waitress as she set their drinks in front of them._

_"I'm a_ _viper_ _pilot," he said once they were alone once more. "And you?"_

_"I'm a teacher. I teach literature at the university."_

_"_ _And what, might I ask, do you cover in your curriculum_ _?_ _"_ _He asked as he picked up his glass and took a slow draw of water while he waited for her to answer._

_"Poetry..._ _Kataris_ _....mostly modern writings," she answered and leaned in conspiratorially, "but I like to sneak in a mystery here and there to keep them interested."_

_He smiled and any remarks were cut off by the waitress placing their food in front of them._

_"_ _You picked up 'Dark Day' from the bookstore._ _That's not light reading," she commented once they were alone once more._

_He shook his head with a grin._ _"No, it's not. Have you read it?"_

_"Sadly, it's one of those classics I've not gotten around to," she confessed before taking a bite._

_"You should. You can borrow mine when I'm done," he offered and they both smiled at his insinuation that they would see each other after today._

_The conversation flowed easily after that. They covered their favorite books, musicians, artist, and found a common love of the theater. She found herself delightfully surprised at how well versed he was_ _,_ _and every new thing she discovered about her dinner companion left her wanting to know more._ _He had a surprising sense of humor and she couldn’t remember ever laughing so much._

_They were eventually interrupted by their waitress informing them that they would be closing soon, and their eyes widened as they realized how long they had been sitting there talking. She had never gotten so caught up before and found that despite the hours they had spent together she was still reluctant to say goodbye to him._

_She rummaged through her bag until she found a pen and quickly scribbled her name and number on a napkin._

_"Oh gosh, this is so_ _cliché_ _," she said with a blush as she handed it to him._

_He smiled and took the napkin from her. "You're just wanting to make sure I know how to get that book to you."_

_"Yes," she agreed with a smirk_ _and her eyes sparkled with mischief_ _, "I'm just interested in your book. I'd like to spend some time with Prima...see what I've been missing all this time."_

_He laughed and carefully folded the napkin before tucking it into his pocket._ _"Then I'll be in touch soon."_

_"I hope so," she replied and then shook her head with a flush of embarrassment to her cheeks that he found incredibly becoming._

_He walked her to her car, and her heart raced with anticipation thinking that he might kiss her goodnight._

_He didn't, but she smiled as he reached down and opened her door for her once more._

_She slid into the car and secured her seatbelt with a softly spoken, "Goodnight, Bill."_

_"Goodnight, Laura," he replied before carefully closing her door and walking towards his own car._

_The sudden fear that the attraction was one-sided hit her and she worried as he climbed into his car that she might never see him again. He hadn't given her his own number in exchange and all she had now was the hope that he might use hers. It would be foolish to sit by the phone hoping that he might be interested in her and call when she had other options available to her, but suddenly the date with Nathan Benton that she had been looking forward to for weeks didn't seem to appeal to her anymore. Maybe it was a good thing that her plans had been ruined. Perhaps meeting Bill was just to show her what else was out there. She_ _could do better than the flashy smooth-talking men she'd always been drawn to. She could find someone who made her laugh and lose track of time in an old diner. If Bill decided not to call her, she would at least stop settling and find someone that could engage her mind like he had all evening._

_She was reflective on the drive home and tried not to think of the likelihood of never seeing Bill again. He hadn't given her any indication that he was interested in her. She supposed that her earlier notion that she wasn't his type was accurate. It occurred to her that she had never even asked him if he was already seeing someone. She'd been foolishly presumptuous and wished she could be a little less interested in him._

_She went through her nightly routine but found despite the late hour she couldn't quiet her mind enough to rest. She pulled a book from her shelf and settled on the couch to read for a while. She would just have to forget about her handsome stranger and his book._

_Eventually, she fell asleep dreaming of blue eyes and dark sweaters._

_She had just_ _sat down with lunch and a stack of papers to grade_ _the next_ _afternoon_ _when the doorbell startled her._

_A quick peek out the door showed her_ _usual mail courier,_ _and she opened the door to take the package_ _from_ _him with a warm thanks._

_She_ _eyed the package curiously as she stepped back inside. She settled on the couch and carefully opened it to find the book she'd held onto yesterday. A note was taped to the cover, and she studied the unfamiliar scrawl._

_"Laura,_

_I hope you don't mind, but I called in a favor from a friend at the university for your address. I stayed up late finishing it so you didn't have to wait, and I wanted to get it to you. That same friend told me it was too soon to call you, and I defer to their wisdom. I included my number at the bottom, however, in case your friends give better advice. I enjoyed our time together and would welcome the chance to see you again if you’re interested. If not, then just enjoy the_ _time with Mr. Prima._ _I never lend books, so please add it to your collection and occasionally remember the night you were almost too stubborn to let a gentleman help you._

_-Bill"_

_She read it twice more before carefully folding it and tucking it in the back of the book for safekeeping. She ran her fingers reverently over the cover of Prima's work before slowly opening it to the first page. The now-familiar_ _handwriting_ _was present once more under the title and read,_

_"To Laura who could make the darkest day bright again."_

_She smiled at the somehow perfect blend of cheesy and romantic and reached down to the coffee table for her phone._

_There was no such thing as "too soon" in her opinion. She was more than willing to see him again as soon as possible._


	3. Chapter 3

Present

She was tense sitting in the seat next to him and could tell by the way his knuckles were white from clutching the steering wheel that he was too. She should never have agreed to get in the car with him, but she knew he wouldn't rest until he could guarantee her safety and she was a little shaken up after her encounter with Adar if she were honest. It eased her mind a little to have Bill close and vigilant. She stole a glance at him, but his eyes were focused on the road in front of them. He was older now with light patches of grey at his temple. She wished it didn't make him more attractive to her. She found her fingers itching to touch it and see for herself if it was as soft as she remembered it to be, but she clasped her hands tightly in her lap to quell the impulse. She needed to end that train of thought. 

"Congratulations, on your award tonight, Bill," she offered, and she watched as his shoulders seemed to tense up even more. 

"I didn't want it,” he huffed. “I hate the attention and the ceremony." 

"I know," she said with a knowing smile, and he cut a quick glance towards her before focusing on the road once more. "How did they talk you into it?" 

He sighed which made her smile grow. "I was reminded that it wasn't about me. The tradition of the fleet is about the military that I serve and the people that I serve with. It was a chance to honor them even though I was the one in the spotlight." 

"Sage advice," she agreed with a nod as she studied his profile. 

"It was from Saul." 

"Huh," she snorted, "will wonders ever cease?" 

He narrowed his eyes as he glanced at her, but her teasing smile had him backing down from the defensive remark on his tongue. 

The quiet that followed was less tense, and she relaxed in her seat. 

"That's a nice color on you," he remarked a moment later, and she glanced down at the long red gown she had chosen for the evening. "You look beautiful." 

"Thank you," she said softly and studied him in his dress grays. "You look spiffy." 

He chuckled and the familiar sound sent warmth to her belly. She had forgotten how much she missed the sound...missed him. Her throat tightened. If she were truly honest with herself, however, there wasn't a day that went by when she wasn't keenly aware of how much she missed him. He was the love of her life, and her love and devotion for him had never wavered after all this time. She wondered if he ever missed her, but she was wise enough not to ask. He would take her home, and then he would leave again. She had made her choice all those years ago, and she couldn't change it now. 

The rest of the ride was filled with silence, and she felt the stinging of tears in her eyes knowing this is what they were now. She wanted to curl up in her bed for a good sob while simultaneously wanting to prolong the drive and time in his presence as much as possible. She wanted to reach next to her and grab his hand, tell him she was sorry, and beg him to love her again. She needed more time with him. 

The drive wasn't long enough, and they arrived at her home much too soon. He had never asked if she still lived there, and she'd never checked to make sure he still knew the way. He opened her car door for her, and she ached at the rush of nostalgia it caused. 

He was stoic as he walked her to the door. He was, even more, the gentleman that he had been when they met, and her heart felt heavier than she was sure she could handle. She wished she had his strength since this obviously wasn't fazing him. He had seemed nothing more than uncomfortable to be alone with someone he'd thought long gone from his life, and she grew sure that he had found a way to get over her. A small part of her loved him enough to be happy for him, but the bigger part of her just broke from the grief of it all. She'd had no time to prepare for this reunion, but she realized that it would have hurt just as much if she would have had weeks to prepare for tonight. 

"It was good to see you again, Laura," he said softly as they stood on her porch. She swallowed past the lump in her throat as she studied the medals pinned to the sash stretched across his broad chest. Shaky fingertips reached up to brush across each one. 

"You too, Bill," she replied quietly and gathered herself enough to look up at him. 

His jaw was clenched tightly, but his eyes...oh his eyes held so much grief and pain that she couldn't breathe. A tear escaped her eye and his thumb reached up automatically from years of practice to stop its track on her cheek. They stood frozen in that moment with thumb brushing softly over her cheek, but he was able to gather himself and pull his hand away with a shake of his head. 

"Goodnight, Laura," he said as he took a step back with his hand falling to his side, and she knew she couldn't take it anymore. 

Without another word she turned the key in the lock and stepped inside. The sound of the door closing was the only sound in the room until a sob tore from her chest and echoed in the dark space. She dropped her bag and slid down the door as sobs racked her small frame. She felt haunted and broken and still so helplessly in love with him, and it was all just too much. 

On the other side of the door, he stood with his hand pressed against the wood and tears of his own trailing mercilessly down his cheeks. The sound of her pain reached his ears and added to the agony of his own grief. He turned and moved towards his car before he could do something as foolish as knocking on the door and begging to hold her close. 

It would only hurt worse when they had to say goodbye all over again. 

He had made his choice, and now he would have to keep living with it. 

Even if it killed him. 


	4. Chapter 4

12 years earlier

_It wasn't a date. They just decided to meet at the park for a walk. It was probably one of the last_ _warmer fall_ _days before winter set in, and they were content to spend a little more time getting to know each other as they strolled._

_The breeze blew at her hair and she tucked a wayward strand behind her ear as she turned to him. "I'm enjoying the book. Thank you for sending it yesterday."_

_His smile was warm and sent butterflies fluttering in her belly. "My pleasure. I find it hard to believe that a Literature professor hadn't read it."_

_She shrugged with a soft blush, "I have a weakness for mysteries instead."_

_"I remember," he grinned, "I'm sure your students appreciate it when you sneak them into their assignments. It might help break up the heaviness of_ _Kataris_ _."_

_"That's true," she laughed and offered him a bright smile. "I know I need the break as much as they do."_

_He smiled back and studied her relaxed features. "What else do you do, Laura, when you're not teaching and reading books?"_

_She clasped her hands behind her back and turned her face to the sun as she walked soaking in the warm rays. "Well, I actually come here as often as I can to grade or take a walk to clear my head. Any real free time I have is spent with my father and sisters," she replied and then tried to keep her tone neutral as she probed, "What about you? Is there...someone...you like to spend your time with?"_

_"Are you asking if I'm seeing someone?_ " _He asked with a raised brow and teasing glint in his eyes that made her heart race._

_She laughed with a flush to her cheeks. "You mean I wasn't subtle with that question?"_

_"No," he grinned, "but I don't think you were really trying that hard to be." His eyes caught hers just daring her to try to deny it, but she couldn't keep the smile from tugging at the corners of her lips._

_"Perhaps not," she shrugged and caught his eye with a pointed look. "So...?" she prompted again._

_His hands moved behind his back and clasped in imitation of her posture, and her smile grew as the gesture made his sweater stretch across his chest._

_"I'm divorced," he said after a minute, and his pace slowed. "It's been three years. I have two boys Lee and Zak. I try to see them as often as I can when I'm grounded."_

_He seemed to be studying her to see if the presence of an ex-wife and children were a deal-breaker for her._ _‘_ _Jokes on him,_ _’_ _she_ _thought. She_ _loves kids._

_"How old are the boys?" she asked and tucked her hair behind her ear once more as she turned to look at him more fully._

_His eyes followed the gesture before finding hers once more. "Lee is_ _twelve_ _and Zak is_ _ten_ _now," he answered with a hint of fatherly pride that made her smile._

_"Those are fun ages. Old enough to be a little self-sufficient but still young enough for an afternoon playing Cowboys and Cylons."_

_"You seem quite knowledgeable,_ _" he said and though he said it as a statement there was a hint of intrigue in his tone. His genuine interest in her life made her heart soar and was met with equal enthusiasm to know more about him as well._

_"Well...I wasn't always a professor," she started and brushed a rock from the path with the side of her shoe. "I taught kindergarten and elementary before eventually finding my way to high school and later the University."_

_"That's quite the resume for someone so young."_

_"Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, Bill, keep it up_ _," she teased, but he just shook his head with a smile._

_"You don't seem the type to need flattery," he said with a warm smile as he reached up to tuck the strand of errant hair back behind her ear, "but I certainly won't mind telling you how stunningly beautiful and captivating you are." Her pulse quickened as the combination of his words and soft touch rushed over her. He brought his hand back down to clasp safely behind his back once more and resumed their walk. "I can't say that I've ever lost track of time like we did at the diner the other night."_

_"It was fun," she agreed and let her shoulder playfully bump into his._

_"It was," he grinned, and they grew quiet for a moment remembering._

_She glanced away and pretended to study a group of ducks playing in the water in an attempt at nonchalance._ _"I_ _wasn't sure I'd see you again, to be honest."_

_"Did you not want to?"_ _He asked with a raised brow and she was quick to reassure him._

_"Oh no...I did. I just wasn't sure you wanted to see me again."_

_He smiled and a blush stole across his cheeks._ _"I wanted to see_ _you so much that I stayed up all night reading a book just to have an excuse_ _" He glanced her way to gauge her reaction to his confession._

_She couldn’t keep the smile from her face and stopped walking to lean against the railing of the small footbridge they were crossing._ _"And now that you_ _have....was it worth the long night?"_

_"Every hour of it," he replied, and her heart skipped._

_Emboldened by his response she decided to forge ahead. She propped her elbows on the railing to support her weight as she leaned back looking more relaxed than her racing heart truly felt. She found a point just past his shoulder to look as she hedged,_ _"So if I suggested we see each_ _other again after this....?"_

_"I'd ask if dinner tonight was too soon," he said and the deep gravelly voice had her eyes_ _snapping_ _to his as a smile lit up her face._

_"It's not_ _,” she said with a shake of her head before a further thought came to her mind with the need to be addressed. “_ _And in the future...don't listen to that friend of yours_ _. I_ _would have called you on the way home if I would have had your number."_

_He chuckled and offered his arm to her to continue walking once more._ _"I'll get rid of that friend right away. No one needs_ _someone in their life giving such terrible advice."_

_She giggled, and_ _his heart filled at the sound. His military_ _training and personality left him more on the quiet, serious side more often than not, but he'd fall over himself_ _to keep making her giggle like that._

_She seemed to notice his careful study of her and looked up to catch his eyes. "What?"_

_"Nothing," he replied with a shake of his head. "I just really like your laugh."_

_She blushed and turned away, but the hold on his arm tightened a little and_ _a sweet smile graced her lips._

_His chest constricted as he looked at her. The longing he felt to know her, truly know her, bubbled up until he felt an almost ache. It was startling to realize how much she seemed to matter to his continued existence in such a quick time. He'd left the diner, but she wouldn't leave his mind. He'd been consumed with thoughts of her, and he had never been so enamored and enraptured before. She was beautiful, enticingly so, but it paled in comparison to her quick wit and sharp tongue. He'd never been so drawn to someone's thoughts and mind until he'd spent hours in an old diner discussing everything of interest with her. He loved her intellect instantly, and by the end of the night, he knew with such aching clarity that_ _he could_ _come to love all of her if she'd grant him the chance._

_They walked for a while in comfortable silence_ _, and each stole_ _less than discreet looks at the other. He made her giddy, and she_ _felt alive in his presence._ _She would be content for the_ _afternoon to never end and just spend the rest of her life walking in the sunshine with her arm tucked into his._ _Her heart raced every time she stole a glance at him. He was_ _handsome in a_ _'he could_ _frak_ _me right now if he wanted, pretty please,' kind of way that made her blood sing in her veins_ _. She'll be in real trouble when she sees him in uniform and should probably make sure her first viewing is in private_ _to be safe. He wasn't even her type, really, and she could have passed him a thousand times before and paid no mind, but_ _after_ _watching him work on her tire that night, seeing his stub_ _bornness match her own_ _, hearing his thoughts on literature and_ _the various issues_ _they'd discussed that night, she was now convinced her type was Bill Adama_ _. Just him._

_"Is there somewhere you had to be?" he asked_ _,_ _and she_ _jumped a bit to be startled from_ _her thoughts._

_"What?"_

_"Did you have anywhere you needed to be_ _or something you needed to do before we met for dinner tonight?"_ _He asked again and she shook her head still a bit confused._

_"Oh...no I don't think so."_

_"Then can_ _I talk you into spending the whole day with me?"_

_"_ _I'd love it," she beamed, and his eyes lit up happily._

_"Then come on. I have an idea."_

_She didn't even question him, which was so unlike her it was scary_ _, but she felt nothing but a rush of excitement as she followed him to the parking lot._ _That excitement faded as she saw the motorcycle he had led her to._

_"Seriously?" she asked as he handed her the helmet with a smile._

_"Live a little, Roslin_ _. Unless you're scared..." he goaded, and her eyes narrowed dangerously. She never backed down from a good challenge, and she wouldn't stop now._

_She didn't say a word as she pulled the helmet on and_ _adjusted the straps to fit snuggly. He_ _mounted the bike and watched with a smile while he waited for her._

_Her heart was pounding in her chest. If she thought he looked_ _good before, he was downright dripping in sex appeal right now. She hoped the face shield of the helmet hid_ _her flushed cheeks. She shook her head and placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself_ _as she climbed on behind him. She had to admit as she_ _wrapped her arms around his torso and felt his firm back press against her chest that this was a much better way to travel than sitting next to him in the car._

_He slid his arm over h_ _ers and asked if she was ready and waited for her to nod_ _in approval_ _before returning his hand to the_ _handle and starting the engine. He eased them out gently to give her a moment_ _but then brought them up to speed as they moved along the back roads that would lead them out of the city._

_She felt the rush of adrenaline as they_ _soared past trees and scenery. She was sure it was just as much caused by the feel of his chest beneath her palms as it was the ride itself._ _She grew more and more relaxed as they rode and her thumb_ _s stroked absently across his chest._ _'This is what happiness feels like_ _,'_ _she thought_ _and closed her eyes as the sensation washed over her._

_She felt the engine slow and opened her eyes to look around. It_ _was a small town she had visited before years ago but wasn't all that familiar with. The buildings looked older, historical even, as though the world had modernized around it, but this place stayed protected in a bubble clinging to the past and all its relics._ _She thought it was beautiful._

_He pulled the bike to a stop in front of one of the_ _buildings_ _that looked more like an old two-story house. He set the side stand and slid off the bike with his hand held out for the helmet. She removed it and shook her hair out as she studied the building in quiet fascination. His fingers combing through her hair drew her attention back, and his smile made her breath catch. He took his time combing her hair in order with gentle fingers that trailed across her cheek when he was done. She held her breath as she watched and waited with hopes that he would lean in and kiss her. He seemed to want to and held her eyes for a moment before lowering his hand from her cheek and offering it to her to help her off the bike._

_The disappointment was quickly pushed aside as he laced their fingers and started leading her to the_ _building they'd arrived at._

_"What is this place?" she asked_ _,_ _but he simply squeezed her hand and opened the door for her._

_"You'll see," he assured her and the little bell above the door tinkled as he gestured for her to enter ahead of him._

_The smell bombard_ _ed her the moment she stepped in, and she_ _turned around quickly with a rush of excitement to see his face._ _He was smiling back and gently tugged her hand to bring her with him as he moved forward._

_She took in the sight of floor to ceiling shelves filled with books. The rolling ladders attached to the stacks looked straight out of an old movie, and she squeezed his hand tight in eager anticipation of looking around._

_"I found this place_ _last year on shore leave. This is the bookstore I had been to when I met you._ _I come here to read sometimes...look around...add books to my collection. It's become a safe haven for me when I'm_ _on leave,_ _and I wanted to share it with you."_

_"Thank you," she breathed_ _,_ _and her eyes sparkled with happiness and excitement._

_He nodded and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek._ _"There's a nook in the corner over there," he said and pointed to a place in the back section of the store that looked_ _soft and inviting, "take your time looking around. We've got the whole day._ _I'll be right over there reading, and you can join me when you've found something you like."_

_She nodded and reached up to press a kiss to his cheek. She pulled away with a blush and whispered "thank you" before slipping away to_ _explore the shelves._

_It wasn't long before she joined him and curled up_ _next to him_ _on the long, cushioned bench_ _with her book._ _Th_ _ey_ _sat like that for hours each lost in their own_ _stories and content to simply be there together. The feel of his shoulder occassionally brushing hers when one of them turned the page filled her with a sense of comfort and ease she'd never felt in someone else's presence before. They'd only known each other a few days but they shared the space with a sense of familiarity that gave her the feeling that she'd always known him. It felt like he'd always been just right there on the edge of her life waiting to fall into it. She smiled at the thought and turned her attention back to her book._

_His stomach growling a bit later_ _broke their trance, and he shrugged helplessly._

_"I guess we should go and feed you_ _," she suggested as she stood and stretched. He stood too and took her book from_ _her as_ _she moved off in search of the restrooms._

_He was waiting by the door when she_ _walked out, and he handed her a small bag with a smile._ _She reached in and pulled out the book she had been reading and realized he'd bought it for her._

_"I thought you'd like to finish it," he explained, "and now you'll have a memento of our day together."_

_"We'll have quite the collection if we come here too often_ _," she teased, and if he caught her pronoun references_ _,_ _he said nothing, but the smile on his face told her he didn't mind the thought one bit. "Thank you, Bill, for the book and for sharing this place with me."_

_"I've never even mentioned it to anyone before_ _,_ _so you'll have to keep it just between us."_

_"To the grave, Bill," she said with a serious expression_ _,_ _but her eyes were dancing_ _,_ _and he laughed as he took her hand and led her out of the store._

_She smiled a bit later when they pulled up to 'their' diner_ _._

_"I promise to take you somewhere else next time," he assured her_ _,_ _"_ _I just thought_ _this would be a great memory to add to our day."_

_She_ _nodded in agreement_ _,_ _but her mind was wrapped up in his mention of 'next time'._

_They happily closed the diner down again and this time when they walked out she was laughing and full of life knowing_ _that she didn't have to worry about whether or not she'd ever see him again. He'd already promised her 'next time', and she was determined that there would always be another 'next time'_ _after that._

_He drove her back_ _to the park to pick up her car and then insisted it was a gentleman's job to follow her back to her house and ensure that she arrived safely._

_He walked her to the door when they arrived, and she wanted nothing more_ _than to invite him in and beg him to stay, but there was no rush. They had 'next time'_ _._

_"I had the best day, Bill," she spoke softly as she studied his face in the porch light._

_"Me too, Laura,_ _" he answered back_ _,_ _and his thumbs brushed over the back of her knuckles where he held them in his own._ _"I'll call you tomorrow if that's okay."_

_"Please do," she replied and sighed happily as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek_ _._

_He pulled away with a warm smile that made her chest ache and brushed_ _the back of_ _his fingers across her che_ _ek with a softly whispered, "Sweet dreams" before he turned to leave._

_He'd made it two steps before her heart won out over her brain and ran away with the plans._

_"Bill," she called out as her heart stuck in her throat._

_He had barely enough time to turn back to her before she had closed the distance and was in his arms with her own looped around_ _his neck and her lips pressed to his. He caught on quickly, and his arms wrapped around her_ _waist as his mouth took action. His lips were soft and sure as they moved slowly over hers, and the sense of familiarity rushed over her once more._

_Her eyes were still closed when she_ _pulled away, and her cheeks were warm with embarrassment._

_"I'm so sorry...I just wanted to..." she whispered helplessly, but her apology was_ _swallowed by his lips as they found hers again and a spark of desire licked up her spine. Her hands slid up to frame his face, and_ _a sigh_ _of pleasure eased past her lips as he changed the angle to kiss her deeper._

_They were both breathing heavily as they pulled away_ _and her eyes opened slowly to look up and find his already watching her_ _._

_"Do you want to come in?"_ _she whispered and his eyes squeezed shut._

_"You have no idea how much I want to, Laura."_

_"But you won't."_ _she acknowledged, and he shook his head with a sad smile on his lips._

_"You are_ _far too precious to me to rush this. We have time, and_ _you're worth the wait, Laura._ _This is headed somewhere important and_ _I want us to savor every step of it together."_

_She nodded as she studied him through blurry eyes._ _This was headed somewhere important. She knew that with every fiber of her being, and she was more than willing to follow him to the end._

_"I want to be worthy of you first, Laura, to earn the chance to be with you like that" he whispered before his lips met hers in a languid_ _kiss that she felt all the way to her toes. She swallowed the lump of emotions_ _his words had formed in her throat_ _and decided she wanted to be worthy of him too._

_"I'll see you tomorrow," he promised as he pulled away._

_She nodded with_ _a radiant smile filling her face. "Yes, you will_ _, Sir_ _."_

_She turned back to head inside knowing he would wait until she did. Reaching down she grabbed the book she'd dropped as she rushed to kiss him and gently dusted it off as she walked inside and closed the door behind her. She leaned back against it as the sound of her rapidly beating heart filled the otherwise silent room. As she clutched the book tightly to her chest, she heard the thrum of his motorcycle fade, and with a blissful smile on her swollen lips, she pushed off the door and moved to the couch to read until she could settle herself enough to sleep._

_Once settled, she opened the cover and discovered that_ _he'd left a message there._

_"To Laura and the start of our collection_ _."_

_She fell asleep dreaming of a cabin by a lake filled with books and Bill._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback and warm reviews as I sneak myself into this fandom!


	5. Chapter 5

Present

He was gone now. He'd been gone for months and she hadn't seen or heard a word from him since the morning after he drove her home and she'd found a package at her front door. She'd taken it inside and cautiously opened it to find a book and pair of boxing gloves. She picked up the book and her eyes skimmed the title which read, "Defensive Combat Moves for Beginners". She smirked and opened the front cover where she knew she'd find his familiar script. 

"Practice up, and if he ever tries to touch you again.... take him out." 

She had laughed and soaked in the memory of how he always seemed to know how to say what he needed to in a playful way so she would do what he asked. He would have never dared to play the macho protector with her, but he would cleverly encourage her to learn to defend herself. He had always been like that with her. He had never tried to coddle her or treat her like a defenseless creature in need of a man. Instead, he had always pushed her to find her inner strength and rise to the challenge on her own two feet. That had meant more to her than anything they had shared.

She read his book and signed up for a self-defense class the following week. The next time Richard Adar tried to put his hands on her she’d bent his wrist back and made it clear that she had no interest. She’d almost picked up the phone that day to call Bill. 

That had been months ago. 

She had tried to get in touch with him to say thank you. She had even tracked down the hotel he had been staying at but discovered he had checked out that same morning. He must have dropped off the package on his way out. Once again, he was gone from her life and the grief of it all hit her sharply. 

Regardless, she would see him later today. 

It was an unavoidable part of her job and though she'd had weeks to prepare this time, she still felt inadequately prepared for their reunion. 

The transport to Galactica would take a few hours, so she settled into her seat with the dossier Billy had prepared for her in preparation for the decommissioning ceremony. 

Her heart skipped when she opened the file and saw his picture. Her fingertips reverently traced across the image, and her chest tightened as an onslaught of memories from years ago hit her. Long nights of her fingers skimming his bare skin in the same way. She could close her eyes and still feel it soft beneath her hands and lips. 

She ached with missing him. 

She reached into her bag and pulled out the framed picture that always traveled with her. His hair had been darker back then without the touches of gray at his temple he had now. He was out of uniform and in a royal blue jacket that made his eyes stand out. It was a candid picture taken without their knowledge when he’d surprised her one afternoon at work a day earlier than he was supposed to be home on leave. She had been eating lunch at one of the outdoor tables on campus and could hardly contain herself when she’d seen him. They’d taken a walk before she had to go teach her afternoon class, and she’d been giddy with happiness. 

She gazed at the picture longingly and her thumbs smoothed over the edges of the frame which housed her prized possession. He’d been teasing her and she’d covered his mouth with her hand to stop his next remark. Her eyes danced with playful exuberance, and they were both laughing in the photograph. Her student had handed it to her shyly the next week and apologized if she was bothered by the lack of privacy. The young girl had been working on an assignment for her photography class that day and took the picture on a whim when she’d heard them laughing. They’d looked so happy, she’d explained, but quickly promised that she was turning over the only copy and hadn’t meant to intrude on their private moment. She hadn’t been upset at all and explained as much to the girl to ease her worry. She’d been far too touched by the gift and the sweet memory of that moment to have even considered being bothered. Years later and she never went anywhere without that picture. She had a copy of it on her desk at work along with a few others they had taken, but this one was her constant companion. 

“I didn’t realize you knew Commander Adama,” Billy said as he settled back in his seat next to her and nodded to the frame in her hand. He’d only been her aid for a few days and they’d not had a chance for a formal meeting in her office. They’d barely had a chance to discuss much of anything, but he’d managed to put together a very thorough dossier of the Galactica and its commander. 

“Yes, we knew each other years ago...but we’ve been out of touch for a long time. This may not be a very welcome reunion.” 

He nodded to the picture again, “I can’t imagine the man in that picture not being happy to see you again.” 

She hummed and offered him a soft smile. “Maybe.” 

She reached down and replaced the frame in her bag and traded it with the book she’d brought with her. “Relax a little, Billy. We can talk shop when we get a little closer.” 

He nodded and pulled a music player from his own bag and placed the headphones over his ears with a smile. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat leaving her alone with her thoughts once more. 

She opened her book and pulled her favorite bookmark out for study. It was a picture of Bill and his boys by the lake. They had fishing poles proudly displaying their small catches with happy smiles on their faces. She’d taken the picture herself on one of their weekend trips. She loved that cabin by the lake almost as much as she loved the three guys she shared it with on their weekend getaways. She’d spent countless hours on that dock with them reading contently while they fished. More often than not she’d be there with the rag to help Zak carefully get the fish off of his hook, assuring him that she’d be gentle as his nervous eyes watched her. She closed her eyes thinking about the nights she’d spent curled on the couch up with his head in her lap drifting off peacefully while they watched a movie. She’d stroke his hair and lean her head against Bill’s shoulder while Lee peppered her with questions about the characters and what was going to happen next. She’d give anything to go back to the lake and the nights on that couch with them. She knew she’d give up anything to have that back and erase every choice that took it away. 

Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at Zak’s innocent, happy face. She remembered the grief she’d felt when she’d gotten the news about his accident. She’d kept up with him over the years even when she and Bill had parted ways. She’d never missed a Birthday card and arranged her schedule to have lunch with him anytime he was in town. He would call from time to time to check on her and they would chat until he got around to talking about his father and insisted that she call him and try to work things out. It was clear that Bill had never explained what happened that night and it was never her place to do so, so she’d simply feign an excuse and change the subject. 

She went to his funeral. She just couldn’t bear not being there. She’d had no intention of upsetting Bill or Lee any more than they’d already been experiencing so she had carefully stayed in the back and out of sight. It broke her heart to see the grief on their faces and it took everything she had to keep her distance. She was relieved to see Kara there with Bill. Zak had brought her to lunch and introduced them the last time he had been in town. She had been the one to go with him to pick out the engagement ring despite her insistence that it should be his father going with him on such an important errand. He’d promised he had already told his dad of his plans to propose to Kara, but he wanted a woman’s opinion on the ring. She’d been so touched that he wanted her to go with him that she’d caved and agreed.

That had been the last time they’d seen each other. To her knowledge, Bill had no idea that she had stayed a part of his son’s life, and she was glad that she hadn’t lost that relationship when she’d lost Bill.

He’d seen her at the funeral. He had looked up when they had lowered the casket to its final resting place, and he couldn’t watch anymore. His eyes scanned the crowd and froze when he saw her. Their eyes had locked, and she hadn’t seen him so broken since the night he left. Grief flooded his features and her own face was washed in tears. They’d shared in their grief for a moment, eyes locked, tears falling, and each of them trying to hold it together, longing to hold each other through the pain and loss. She’d watched as his face crumpled and she clutched a hand to her chest as the pain there intensified seeing her beloved soldier breaking further. He’d turned away as they started to toss dirt into the grave and she slipped out before he could look up again. 

She’d gone to Zak's grave last week and switched out his flowers. She did that every season and carefully made sure that no one knew it was her. She had no wish to upset Bill or Carolanne, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop taking care of Zak. She had loved him like her own, and her heart still ached with missing him. 

She wiped the tears from her cheek and placed the picture back into the book. With a sigh, she opened the dossier and flipped past the pictures of Bill to study the schematics of the Battlestar. She wanted to be prepared so that she could focus on business while she walked the ship and not the commander who still held her heart. 


	6. Chapter 6

_12 years earlier_

_He’d wanted her to meet the boys. It was important to him that it go well on both sides, and he’d spent the morning worrying that she wasn’t ready for such an important encounter and he should have given them more time together first._

_As he watched her running around the yard with the boys, he realized he’d been the one unprepared. He knew she was incredible, but he never dreamed his sons would agree so quickly._

_He rinsed the last plate and placed it in the drying rack, but his eyes remained glued to the window and the peels of laughter past the glass. He wasn’t sure who was enjoying their game more, but he had a hunch it was Laura. Although, the boys seemed pretty happy too._

_Lee was currently holding Laura prisoner on the back deck while Zak tried to execute a rescue. It was a good attempt, but Lee had anticipated it and managed to hold him off. Little did he realize that Laura was not a quiet prisoner and had managed to break herself out just in time to sneak up on Lee and attack while Zak escaped his punishment of walking the plank. Lee was giggling while she tickled his sides, and Zak joined in until they heard a cry for mercy and a promise of surrender._

_It was clear his boys were enamored by her which worked out perfectly because he was desperately in love with her and wanted her in their lives._

_His thoughts were interrupted a moment later when the back door opened and Laura came in grinning and full of life. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips as she reached past him to grab a couple of glasses._

_“We promised fair treatment and juice as terms of his surrender,” she offered with a shrug as she filled the glasses. Her face turned solemn as she picked up the drinks and backed towards the door. “We want justice...Not revenge,” she said, and his laughter followed her out the door._

_He stood at the window watching a while longer, and his heart filled as the sound of happy laughter reached his ears. He hadn’t seen the boys this happy since the divorce, and he knew it had a lot to do with the red-haired beauty running across the grass in his back yard with flushed cheeks and a brilliant smile. He placed the final cup on the drying rack and moved outside to join in the fun._

_They all cooked dinner together which was different. The boys had never been that interested in helping with meals, but they were reluctant to be more than a few feet away from Laura while she was there. He couldn’t blame them. He was reluctant to be more than a few feet away from her too. She didn’t seem to mind the boys' desire to help out at all and scrapped their original dinner plans in favor of something that would be easier and safer to help with._

_She moved seamlessly around his kitchen as she helped Zak with the pasta and showed Lee how to safely cut up vegetables. He smiled every time he came in from the grill to grab seasoning or a plate for the cooked chicken. Happiness bounced off the walls of his kitchen, and he stood there for a moment observing the life he’d always dreamed of taking shape at the kitchen counter._

_Laura was a good sport_ _while they ate_ _answering every question the boys could throw at her, and she seemed perfectly happy to help tuck them each into their beds with a kiss to the tops of their heads and a promise to come back to see them the next time they were with their father._

_Zak had grabbed his hand before he could follow her out of his room, and he turned back to see what his son could need. Zak peered past him to make sure Laura was gone and then tugged on his father’s hand until he had sat down on the edge of the bed where they could talk quietly._

_“She’s really pretty dad...I mean for a lady,” he whispered quietly._

_Bill nodded and tried to keep the smile from his face as he agreed. “Yes, she’s very pretty, son.”_

_He nodded and seemed to be thinking of what to say next. He gripped the covers tight and spoke again. “Yeah...and she is really great in battle. Lee couldn’t catch us both at the same time.”_

_“I think Lee enjoyed the challenge the two of you created for him.”_

_“Yeah…that would probably be good for a military guy like you to have around…someone that’s good at strategy stuff.”_

_“That’s a good point_ _, son.”_

_“Yeah...and well...her cooking was pretty good too. That was a great dinner we made.”_

_“It was, Son. It’s my favorite dinner we’ve ever had at this cabin.”_

_“Yeah...mine too,” he said and took a moment to gather his thoughts before looking up with a serious expression at his father. “So...I think we should probably keep Laura around. I just think it would be smart, ya know?”_

_“I think it would be the smartest decision we could make, Zak. You sure you won’t mind having her around all the time when you come to stay with me?”_

_“I won’t mind. I think it would be good for us to have her around...and maybe it would be good for her too.”_

_“You know, son. I think you might be right. You get some rest and we’ll spend all day tomorrow making sure she doesn’t want to leave.”_

_“Deal!” the boy agreed with a happy grin, and Bill tucked him in and turned off the bedside light as he left the room and made his way downstairs to find Laura._

_They settled onto the couch together, and he was glad to finally have a moment alone to thank her for everything she’d done that day and apologize if it was a bit much._

_She had barely sat down_ _next to him_ _before she derailed his thoughts. Her eyes were brimming with tears when she turned to him, and he would have been concerned had it not been for the big, happy smile that spanned her face._

_“Thank you so much for today, Bill. I haven't had that much fun in a long time.”_

_“You don’t have to...”_

_“No, Bill, you don’t understand what it means to me that you trust me with something as precious as your sons_ _,_ _and I need you to know I don’t take that lightly.”_

_“Well, I know they can be...”_

_“Oh, they’re fantastic, Bill!" She gushed. "Lee is so smart. I wish I would have had him as a student when I still taught middle school. He’s quiet, but it’s because his mind is just working and processing so much...oh and Zak...he’s full of so much compassion...so sweet and thoughtful. He says he wants to be pilot like you someday...but could you imagine if he went into medicine? He’d never rest...run himself ragged trying to help as many people as he could...but he’d be brilliant.”_

_She realized she’d gone off on an over-excited ramble, and a blush stole up to her cheeks._

_“Sorry,” she shrugged bashfully, but he just watched her silently. She felt her stomach clench and realized she must have overstepped and tried to apologize._

_“Oh, Bill...I’m sorry. I know you’d love for him to be a pilot like you...I didn’t mean to...I think he’d be great at that too...I just thought...”_

_“I love you,” he interrupted in a tone so soft she wasn’t sure she’d heard him. He seemed to notice her confusion and took her hands in his own before clearing his throat._

_“I love you, Laura,” he said louder this time, and her heart did somersaults in her chest at his words. “I knew before today...it’s why I wanted you to meet the boys_ _..._ _but watching you with them...it’s like my whole world constricted to these four walls and the people within them. I just...I fell even more in love with you today and I couldn’t wait to tell you.”_

_“Bill,” she exhaled and a moment later her lips were crashing into his. The kiss was long and languid and felt like he was drowning in her._

_She pulled away and rested her forehead against his with eyes still closed tight as she tried to get her ragged breathing under control._

_“I love you too, Bill. Oh gods, I love you.”_


	7. Chapter 7

The heavy liner slid effortlessly into the docking bay of Galactica and people around her started milling about gathering what they would need to disembark and take the tour of the ship and future museum. She paid them no mind, hands gripping the armrest, and stomach rolling anxiously, as she stared out the window barely registering the change in scenery past the glass. 

“Madam Secretary?” Billy called out to get her attention, but it wasn’t until his third attempt that she was able to snap out of it and slowly rise from her seat. She brushed her hands over her suit nervously and managed to paste a fake smile on her face as she turned to him and gestured for him to lead the way off the ship. 

They were immediately greeted by a man in a bright suit who introduced himself as the public relations liaison, but she was too busy scanning the ship for a certain commander to catch his name. She and Billy followed him through the ship as the man went over the itinerary for their day and various things that would be available to them during their visit. She continued to drown him out until he mentioned that the Commander was tied up in the CIC but would do his best to make time to meet with them during their time aboard. 

She felt her stomach knot as she realized he had plans to avoid her while she was here and probably had no intention of “making time” to meet with them. The anxiousness she had been feeling for weeks was slowly churning its way into anger. She’d been under no illusion that he’d have a warm reception ready for her, but there was no way she’d sit back and let him hide like a toddler avoiding bedtime. 

The time she’d spent studying the schematics of the ship was going to come in handy now. They’d managed to lose Billy somewhere on the walk, and she’d been too caught up in her own thoughts to notice him missing. She placed her bag on the desk in the guest quarters she’d been shown to and immediately turned back to the liaison to tell him she was ready for a tour of the ship. She waved her hand dismissively at his offer to let her freshen up and come back later for that tour. She was on a mission and was not going to be deterred. She just needed to guide the tour until she “ran into” that missing “toddler”. 

They walked through the long grey halls, and she nodded appropriately at the comments and remarks as her eyes vigilantly scanned in search of his familiar features. 

A call of “clear a hole!” drew her attention, and she watched as personnel and guest shifted to make way for the woman running towards them. 

Laura smiled as the runner slowed her pace and stopped in front of them. If the youthful officer was surprised by the woman visiting her ship, she didn’t show it and instead seemed to have expected the reunion. 

The officer stopped in front of her and held out her hand with a look of uncertainty on her face as she spoke, “Madam Secretary, I’m not sure if you remember me...” 

“Kara, it’s so good to see you.” 

A smile slid across her face and relief filled her eyes. “It’s good to see you too. I wasn’t sure if you’d...” 

“Of course I remember you,” she assured her and squeezed her hand gently before releasing it. “I’ve kept an eye out for you since the last time we saw each other.” 

“Oh,” Kara said with a blush, “about those discipline notices...” 

She laughed and shook her head before leaning towards Kara with a conspiratorial whisper, “If you only knew how much trouble I got into at your age.” 

“I’d love to hear those stories!” she exclaimed happily, “Maybe once you’re done meeting with the Old Man we could talk before you leave.” 

“I’d like that," she agreed and her eyes scanned the hallway, "Speaking of which...have you seen the Commander?” 

“Actually, he was stuck in the CIC and sent me to check on you.” 

“Did he?” she questioned and watched Kara's eyes take on a mischievous glint. 

“Yes, but I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that,” she confirmed with a grin. 

Frustration bubbled in her belly. “Is he afraid I’m going to get into trouble while I’m here? Start a mutiny perhaps?” She teased but a hint of anger tinged her voice.

A knowing smile spread across Kara's face. “Actually, I think he was worried about you and just wanted to make sure you were doing okay but didn’t think it would be a good idea for him to check himself.” 

The idea of him worrying about her gave her mixed emotions that she'd have to sort out later when she was alone. “Hmm...is he planning to avoid me the whole time I’m here you think?” 

“No," she answered with a shake of her head, "actually, he was planning to give you the tour himself but had a bit of a run-in with Lee and needed a minute to cool his heels.” 

Her heart softened at that, knowing how headstrong Lee could be and how bitter he had been since Zak's death. “Everything okay?” she asked in genuine concern. 

“Just the typical Lee drama." Kara sighed. "Seriously, I think they just need some time to work it all out, but they keep avoiding each other and pretending they don’t care about each other so much when they should be talking and making up. Hmm...why does that sound familiar?” 

“Captain Thrace!” they heard call out and Kara’s smile turned to a barely hidden smirk. 

“What do you hear?” 

“Nothing but the rain, Sir,” she answered back automatically and Laura could tell this was a well-rehearsed conversation of theirs. 

“Then grab your gun and bring in the cat.” 

“Boom, boom, boom!” she called out and then leaned in to whisper, “That’s the Old Man’s way of telling me to get lost. I’ll find you later. Have fun!” 

Her eyes followed Kara as she picked up her pace and resumed her jog through the halls. Once she was out of sight, she took a deep fortifying breath and turned her eyes to meet his. 

A flash of something passed through his eyes but was gone before she could really register it. 

“Madam Secretary,” he addressed formally and gestured for them to continue her walk through the corridors. 

“I was told you wanted to talk about the computers,” he mentioned as they walked and the lack of any warmth or familiarity in his voice made it easier for her to focus on the business at hand. 

“Yes, I was told they would be networked by now, but I was just informed yesterday that order was rescinded.” 

“It was,” he stated bluntly and she had to fight the urge not to roll her eyes. Her years of experience dealing with stubborn children as a teacher was suddenly coming in handy. 

“Okay...well this would be the part where you would explain the ‘why’ to me,” she stated as calmly as possible, but an edge of annoyance and frustration found it's way into her tone despite her best efforts. 

“Because networked computers are a security risk.” 

“Security?" she huffed, "I just need something to tell people how to get to the bathroom.” 

“Then may I suggest you get some signs made,” he quipped, and if looks could kill, she'd be short an old lover about now. 

“Funny," she said instead and forged ahead, "Networked computers will make it easier on the teachers.” 

He halted his steps and turned to her watching as her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m not trying to make things difficult for the teachers.” 

“No," she agreed with narrowed eyes, "it seems like you’re just being stubborn.” 

She watched as his shoulders squared and his jaw clenched. His anger was just under the surface and begging to be free and lash out at her, but he had such excellent control. Only someone who knew him as well as she did would know how much he was working to keep that control intact. “Lots of men and women have died because someone wanted a faster computer. There will not be a networked computer on my ship as long as I am in command.” 

“Yes, Sir,” she answered smartly and the urge to roll her eyes was back once more. 

“Was there anything else, Madame Secretary?” He asked and the weariness and frustration in his voice hurt as much as the formal title that rolled off his lips. 

“No,” she sighed. “I can’t imagine there’s anything else we have to talk about.” 

“Then I’ll see you at the ceremony,” he said gruffly and turned on his heel without waiting for a response. 

“Is he always like that?” Doral asked once the commander was out of earshot.

“No, I think I just bring out that joy in him,” she sighed in frustration. She wished this was all just about the computers, and maybe for Bill it was. Perhaps she was the one bringing feelings into this. After all this time there was a good chance that he had probably met someone else and moved on, and she was the only one emotionally invested in their interactions. She really wished she could help it. She’d love to feel nothing for him right now. Instead, she feels everything from frustrated to turned on when they interact and she hates it. She’d never been in control of her heart when he was concerned and she’d learned to deal with that. She just wished she had perfected her poker face before this visit. 

The rest of her time on the ship passed quickly, and she soon found it was time to find her way to the ceremony. She felt the knots forming in her stomach just thinking about Bill and the upcoming event. 

He hated the idea of his beloved ship being turned into a museum with children running amuck and gift shops. She’d heard the word he had used was “desecrated” and those who had met with him in the initial meetings had reported to her his disdain for the project and promise to speak to whomever he had to in order to shut the whole thing down. He’d made a few attempts too. She was well aware. He’d eventually discovered that she was the one that had created the project to begin with and had grown eerily silent. He’d made no further attempts at ending the project and had, instead, passed it off to his liaison officer to move forward. She hadn’t been sure what to make of his relinquishment. She felt it was probably his reluctance to have to meet with her, or perhaps he’d been too hurt that it was someone he once loved and trusted leading the charge. 

Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap as she tried to keep a neutral face, and she steeled herself as he approached the podium to give his speech. 

“This ship has created a legacy for itself...and deserves to be honored. She is a Battlestar...one of the original twelve that fought against the Cylons in the war. She held her own and though she suffered losses...she brought many men and women home to their friends...their families. She has served the colonies with strength and distinction. She deserves....” he trailed off and she held her breath waiting for his condemnation of this project, her project. “She deserves to be honored...to be remembered. Galactica will not be retired to a shipyard. She will not be dismantled or stripped for parts. She will be held whole...honored in a way that allows her story to be told to the next generation. She’ll tell the story of her sacrifices...her hard-earned victory....of the men and women who held her together during the war...whom she protected in turn. She will hold her place in history as a reminder of what happens when we let our guard down...when we try to push boundaries we’re not meant to and then attempt to wash our hands clean of the consequences. She has served our Colonies and it’s people well...and now she has earned her rest.” 

The breath eased slowly from where she’d trapped it in her lungs as he left the podium to retake his seat. The crew had stood in applause as they joined in honoring their ship...their home. 

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the emotions at bay. She had never been given the opportunity to explain to him why she had created this project. When she had heard that the Galactica was to be decommissioned she had ached at the thought of Bill losing something else he loved. She’d gone without sleep for three days planning and organizing her proposal. The thought of them dismantling his ship while he had to sit back and watch like a good officer stirred her soul. She just wanted to give him something...his ship. She could keep it whole and honor it with her idea. Galactica wouldn’t become just another decommissioned ship. She would live on and be remembered. The thought of all the children...people...that would walk through its hallways and hear the stories of the great ship...of its last Commander...made her heart soar with energy and excitement. She knew he wouldn’t understand at first, but she was doing it for him...just him. He may not know her motives but at least now she knew he understood her intentions. 

The party was loud, and she watched as the crew celebrated happily amongst themselves, reveling in one of their final nights together aboard their ship. The music was in full swing and a small dance floor had been set up in the middle of the hangar deck. She smiled watching Lee spin Kara around, and her heart soared seeing them both laughing and enjoying life. They'd been through so much and deserved a moment of joy no matter how fleeting it might be. She was glad they had each other. 

She knew he was there before she saw him. Years of being so finely in tune with him hadn't been lost though out of practice. 

"They've gotten each other through it. I don't know that they would have survived without having each other to turn to."

His voice was warm and deep and she fought the urge to close her eyes and soak it in. This was a personal conversation and after the cold indifference he'd shown her all day, she wasn't quite sure how to respond. She turned her eyes towards him and found him watching Lee and Kara with wrapt attention, and her heart fluttered at the look of fatherly affection on his face. She wanted to hold on to the personal nature of this topic of conversation and opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted as Doral approached them.

"Madame Secretary, Commander, if you could just give us one dance together. The press is eager to see that the Commander supports this project and snapping a few pictures of the two of you celebrating together would go a long way towards public approval of the museum. Would you be so kind?" he asked with a hopeful expression and his eyes bounced between the two of them waiting for a response. 

She merely arched her brow at him in challenge and he knew by the look in her eyes that she was just daring him to make an excuse not to. To her surprise, he simply offered her his arm. She hesitated for less than a second before slipping her hand into the crook of his elbow and allowing him to escort her to the dance floor. 

The music changed to a slower tempo as they took their place, and Bill turned towards her to give her one last chance to back out. Never one to back down from a challenge, she slipped her hand into his and managed a tight smile as his hand found her waist. His palm felt like pure heat where it touched her hip and she fought the desire to tighten her grip on his hand. 

  
They moved seamlessly around the dance floor as if the years melted away and it had been merely yesterday since he'd last held her close. 

Aware of the room full of eyes on them, she pasted a smile on her face and tried to relax. 

"It can't be that terrible for you to be close to me," he spoke softly, and she wondered if she imagined the trace of hurt in his voice. 

"It's just been a long time," She sighed and he nodded in agreement. She took a calming breath and tried to think of a safe topic to pass the time with. 

She smirked and pulled back enough to make eye contact. "I read your book and took a self-defense class."

"And how is President Adar these days," he asked with a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

Her own smile grew across her face and her eyes sparkled with a look of mischief that made his heart beat faster. "Well....it seems he hurt his wrist trying to touch something he shouldn't and has been much more careful these days."

"Has he now?" he asked and though his voice still had the teasing tone to it, she knew he was genuinely worried and making sure.

"Oh yes," she said but her smile slipped "He's so careful now it seems it would be easier to get rid of me than try anything inappropriate." She shook her head at the look of concern that passed his face and reassured him, "He's trying to use the teacher's strike to force my resignation, but I have no intention of doing so, and he has no valid excuse to push it. He's far too concerned with public opinion to really try anything."

He nodded politely to show he'd heard her words but she knew the look in his eyes and her stomach knotted realizing he still worried about her. Her hand tightened in his to get his attention and a genuine smile covered her lips. "I'm fine, Bill."

He nodded once more, but his shoulders relaxed and his hand on her hip softened in response.

"You really broke his wrist?" he asked with a raised brow and pleased smile. 

"Oh, it was just a sprain. He just has a low pain threshold and acted like a baby over it," She explained and felt his low chuckle travel over her body. The sound was so familiar, and her heart clenched in response. 

He held her close as they swayed in time to the music, and she breathed in his scent and took the moment to savor the feeling of being in his arms.

His voice was softer when he spoke. "Should I thank you now for saving my ship?" 

"No need. You can thank me later," she joked and amusement filled his eyes. He watched her for a moment just studying her, but then his expression grew sad once more. 

"You've made quite the life for yourself, Laura, I'm happy for you," he said and though his words were sincere, they lanced through her and left a broken feeling in her chest. If he only knew how readily she would give it all up to have a life she could share with him. 

"You too, Bill," she whispered and moved closer in his arms. With her head over his shoulder, he wouldn't see the way her eyes were glistening. 

The song faded as the musicians transitioned to the next one, and he pulled back to a polite distance.

"Thank you for the dance, Laura," he said and she simply nodded in response not trusting herself to speak. She watched as he turned and walked away and a sense of loss overwhelmed her. She took a moment to gather herself before moving back towards Billy. Time to get back to work. 

Bill was soon lost in a crowd of people wanting to speak to him, and she’d been making her rounds as well. He was nowhere to be seen when she was told it was time for her ship to depart. The ache deep in her bones that rose at the thought of leaving without getting to see him one last time flushed through her. With one last fruitless sweep of her eyes across the room, she nodded and followed Mr. Doral to the docking bay. The disappointment gnawed at her all the way there. 

She entered the hangar bay and felt her breath hitch as she saw him waiting by the heavy-liner she was due to depart in. He was the perfect picture of military precision as he stood there ramrod straight not a medal out of place where they stretched across his broad chest. A lump formed in her throat at the sight of him and she wanted so badly to reach out...touch his arm...his shoulder...his cheek. She used to have that freedom, that luxury, and she’d give anything the universe asked of her to have it back. 

She had so much to say to him, but silence arrested them now. He nodded, but his eyes never once looked at hers as he bid their party goodbye. 

The formal, “Madam Secretary,” that fell from his lips felt like a gut punch, but it was his lack of expression that broke her most. 

He had been there through some of the most difficult times in her life, but now there was this chasm between them, and it broke her heart to feel so alone and so helpless. He was right there, where she could reach out and touch him if she dared, but there had never been so great a distance between them. 

His hand reached out automatically to assist her as she climbed the steps to board the ship, and she felt a spark shoot up her arm at his touch. The look in his eyes made her think that just maybe he felt it too, but his stoic expression gave nothing away and with a heavy heart she turned away and climbed up the remaining steps. She glanced back at the top of the stairs and his eyes held hers for a moment. She refused to let the tears that were building up escape. If he didn’t love her anymore that was fine, but she refused to show him just how much it was breaking her heart that he didn’t. With that thought, she squared her shoulders and stepped onto her ship leaving Galactica and its commander behind. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning....it's a little sad, but I wanted to cover a hard time in Laura's life and establish the bond with Laura and the boys. I did try to end it on a light and happy note. Just wanted to give a heads up for any of my friends who might not be in a place to read something sad right now. Might even post another story I'm working on so there's something happy to read.

_ 11 years earlier _

_ The knocking on the door had her slipping from beneath Bill’s arm careful not to wake him. She grabbed her robe from the foot of her bed and tied it in place as she moved to the door. Her heart stopped at the sight of the police officers waiting on the other side.  _

_ “Bill!” she called over her shoulder, and her heart started beating painfully in her chest. He was here on leave so that only left the boys or her family.  _

_ “Laura Roslin?” _

_ “Yes,” she said and felt a momentary breath of relief as she heard Bill coming into the room.  _

_ “Everything okay?” he asked as he moved to join her at the door. She reached behind her blindly until she felt his hand and gripped it tightly in her own. _

_ “Miss Roslin, may we come in?” _

_ She nodded mutely to the young officer and moved aside to allow them into the house. They sat in the armchairs and waited for her and Bill to take a seat on the couch across from them.  _

_ “There was an accident last night. A drunk driver hit the car your father was driving and he and your sisters were killed on impact. I’m so sorry.” _

_ She just sat  _ _ there, _ _ mute. Her brain was trying desperately to make sense of what they had just said. She felt cold all over except for the warmth of Bill’s hand gripping hers desperately.  _

_ This was a nightmare, and she just needed to wake up. _

_ “Is there...is there anything we need to do?” He asked, and her stomach clenched at the way his voice caught; the deep tone heavy with emotion.  _

_ “The coroner's office will be contacting you about which funeral home you’d like them released to, but they’ve already been identified. There’s no need to put her through that.” _

_ “Thank you,” he muttered and nodded to the officers. They understood and quietly rose and made their way out the door.  _

_ He didn’t say anything. He just sat there in the deafening silence holding her hand.  _

_ A moment later the wall of grief slammed into her. “No. No, no, no,” she cried, and he pulled her into his arms. _

_ “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered and his own voice broke from the strain of grief.  _

_ She climbed into his lap and clutched the back of his shirt in her fist as she sobbed into his shoulder.  _

_ He stroked her back soothingly and just let her anguished cries fill the room. His own tears poured down his cheeks as he held her close.  _

_ He didn’t push her to talk about it, but she never doubted for a moment that he was there waiting for whenever she felt ready. He’d gone with her and offered his unfailing support as they made the necessary arrangements. At night he’d held her close as she’d cried herself to sleep.  _

_ Three days later she sat stiffly in her chair as the minister spoke over the row of coffins. She had thought she couldn’t cry anymore, but streams of tears poured from her eyes. Her hand was wrapped tightly in Bill's _ _ , _ _ and she held it like a lifeline in her lap. Her other hand gripped her knee tightly trying to keep it together until she could safely let it all out away from the crowd who had come to pay their respects.  _

_ She squeezed her eyes shut and felt a small hand cover the one gripping her knee. She looked over to see Zak watching her face unsure if his comfort was welcome. She smiled through her tears and turned her hand over to take his gently in her own. He offered a sad smile in return before resting his head against her shoulder and turning his attention back to the service. She looked past Bill to see that Lee was watching her carefully as well. Her two mini-men in their black suits and ties both had tears on their cheeks, but they were so worried about her and it made the vice grip that had been wrapped around her heart the last few days loosen. She felt Bill press a soft kiss to her temple and she squeezed his hand in appreciation.  _

_ The pain of her loss was overwhelming, but she had a support team, and her guys weren’t going to let her drown in her grief. She wouldn’t survive this without them and in the midst of her pain, she felt a surge of hope that she could make it to the other side of this. _

_ Time passed slowly, and she still felt the fog of loss upon her. Bill had taken emergency leave, and she was immeasurably grateful for his constant presence. She couldn't explain the desperation she felt to know where he was and that he was safe, but he seemed to know what she was feeling and took extra steps to assure her without even needing her to ask. The day before he had gone to the store to get groceries, and she had been determined not to make a big deal of it and just attempt to get back to normal. She forgot how well he knew her. He called as soon as he got in the car, and had her on speakerphone the entire drive to the store. They talked about recipes and favorite foods as he walked around the store getting what they needed. They planned their next trip to the cabin while he drove home, and she pulled him into her arms the moment he had placed the grocery bags on the counter. The tears that streamed down her face as he wrapped his arms around her weren't from grief or worry this time. They were tears of gratitude that she had found this man and that he loved her as fiercely and wholly as she loved him.  _

_The next day he had gone with her to pack up things she wanted to keep from her Father's house. He'd once more offered his silent and unwavering support as she moved from room to room packing away photographs and treasured family items. She'd been quiet all day, and though he'd been worried about her, he didn't push and waited for her to share her thoughts with him._

_Later that evening she held Bill a little tighter as they sat curled up on the couch._

_ “They’re all gone now, Bill. Snatched away in a moment...the last of them. I have no family left now,” she whispered, and he moved his hand soothingly up and down her arm.  _

_ “You have me, Laura. You have me and Zak and Lee. We’re your family...and we’re here for you...always.” _

_ His words were a balm to her battered soul. They were her family, and she didn’t have to be alone.  _

_ The boys had hardly left her side in the week since the funeral and had begged not to go back to their mother’s house the previous afternoon. Even Lee had hovered close to her and kept a small packet of tissues in his pocket just in case she needed them.  _

_ The gesture had made her smile the first time she’d been sitting at the table with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, and he’d appeared by her side with the small offering. He waited for her to dry her eyes before pulling up a seat next to her and requesting to hear a story about growing up with her sisters if she felt up to it. Reliving the memories for him had been cathartic, and she’d shared one story after the next with her captive audience. She’d kissed the top of his head later and thanked him for listening, and he’d made it a point to come to her with a similar request when she seemed too sad.  _

_ They’d called at bedtime just an hour ago to say goodnight to their father and check on her. The ache in her heart eased as realization moved over her.  _

_ They were her family. She still had a family.  _

_Three days later she placed the last bag in the back of the SUV, and a smile grew across her face as she heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. The happy cries of "Laura!" that flew from the mouths of her favorite boys were soon accompanied by pairs of arms wrapping around her waist. Her heart filled as they chattered away telling her all the things that they had done since the last time they had seen her. She soaked it all in, relishing in the feeling of completeness that always seemed to come when she and Bill had the boys home with them._

_She kissed the top of Lee's head, and he offered her a warm smile before rushing back to where his father was thanking Carolanne for letting them have the boys again for the weekend._

_"Did you pack my swimsuit, Laura? I think the water will be warm enough to swim in," Zak asked as he tugged on her hand to pull her with him towards the front of the vehicle._

_"Of course I did! I packed the blue one you like so much, and I found you some shoes you can wear in the water so your feet don't have to touch the muck at the bottom."_

_"Thanks, Laura! Lee says the muck is all the fish poop that's sunk to the bottom and that's why it feels so squishy and gross."_

_She laughed and shook her head. "I think Lee is just saying things that big brothers say to tease their little brothers, but maybe we won't mention to Lee that I got him some shoes too until he's felt the muck between his toes a time or two."_

_Zak giggled in response and her heart flooded with love and affection. "Will you stay on the dock with us while we fish?"_

_"Of course," she agreed, "You're father gave me a new book so I'd have something to keep me busy while I wait for you to need my help."_

_"Yep! Dad really loves you." he beamed, and she felt pure joy radiating from them both._

_She brushed her hand through his dark hair affectionately. "He really does, and I really love him too."_

_"And you love me and Lee too!" he added, and her heart felt like it was bursting at the seams._

_"I love you both so so much," she agreed and pulled him into a tight hug._

_"You guys coming?" Lee called out as he opened the back door of the SUV and climbed in. Zak eagerly rushed from her side to join his brother, and she turned to see Bill watching her with a look full of adoration._

_She joined him at the passenger door and pressed a soft slow kiss to his lips. "I love you," she sighed as she pulled away._

_"I love you too, always," he replied and pressed another sweet kiss on her lips before pulling away and opening her door for her._

_She climbed in and buckled up as the happy chatter of the boys reached her ears. She closed her eyes as the vestiges of grief started to recede a little more as the delighted conversation of her boys swirled around her._

_She was on the way to her favorite cabin with her favorite people._

_Her family._

_She was going to be okay._


	9. Chapter 9

Present

He sat at his desk lost in thought with the framed photograph in his hands. It was one of the two frames that had always traveled with him wherever he went. The picture of him at the lake with the boys sat on his desk and kept him company while he worked. The one he grasped now was a picture he’d taken of Laura that same weekend. She had gotten up early and gone down to read by the lake. A while later he had walked down to get her for breakfast but found himself silently sneaking back for the camera to capture exactly what she looked like with the sun reflecting off her red hair and her expression softened by the words dancing across her page. She was luminous, and he’d never seen anything as beautiful. He thought he loved her then. 

He _knew_ he loved her now. 

He’d never stopped, and seeing her again after all these years had just intensified the ache that he felt deep in his bones for her. He had thought for a moment earlier when they’d argued that he’d seen a flicker of something in her eyes which caused a surge of hope that she might still care for him too, but it was so fleeting he managed to convince himself that he’d imagined it. Especially since she’d boarded that ship and left him once again. 

She was never really his to hold onto. 

He glanced at the picture of the boys with him at the lake and smiled thinking of the good times they’d had at that cabin. They always insisted Laura came with them, even though he had no intention of going without her if he could help it. They loved her, and their separation had somehow been even harder on them than the divorce with their mother had been. Perhaps it was being older and understanding more, but it had broken their hearts to go back to that cabin without her. He’d never forget the day that Zak brought in the birthday card that Laura had sent him and asked if it would be okay to write her back. It should have probably bothered him that she continued to reach out to the boys, but instead, he was relieved that they weren’t going to lose her completely just because he had. He encouraged both the boys to write back and say thanks any time that she wrote to them, and he was well aware that it eventually evolved beyond that to visits and phone calls as they grew older. Zak always came back from seeing Laura with a sad smile as he begged his father to reach out to her to work things out. He’d lost count of how many times he’d almost agreed to do it, but the circumstances around their decision to end it hadn’t changed. The words she spoke that night still lingered in his heart, and the thought of trying again only to face the heartache when they had to make the same choice all over again would have broken them both beyond compare. There was no going back from the choice they had made, but she loved his sons with her whole heart, and he wouldn’t keep her from them. The brokenness and pain on her face the day of Zak’s funeral tore at his heart, and he had ached to hold her and allow them to comfort each other. He’d glanced away to watch them toss the dirt on his boy, and when he had looked up, she had been gone...erased from his life once more. 

His maudlin thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, and he carefully placed the frame back in its usual position on his desk and moved to answer the wireless. 

“Adama,” he answered and felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you sir, but we have a priority one message coming in from Fleet Headquarters. It was transmitted in the clear, sir.” 

“In the clear? What does it say?” 

“Attention all Colonial units, Cylon attack underway. This is no drill.” 

“I’ll be right there,” he said but one thing screamed in his mind. 

_Laura._

“Mr. Gaeta, I need you to track down that heavy liner that departed with the Secretary of Education. Apollo was escorting it. Reach out to him and tell him to get himself and that ship back here where we can protect it.” 

He barely heard the “Yes, Sir,” filter through before he replaced the phone and was heading out the door to get to the C.I.C. 

She dried her eyes and checked her makeup. She’d made it about an hour into the flight before her heart and mind caught up to each other and she’s made her excuse to Billy and gone to the bathroom to cry. She was angry enough with herself for letting her reunion with Bill get to her, but she sure as frak wasn’t going to add to it by sobbing in front of her aid and the members of the press on the flight with them. 

She checked her reflection one last time before opening the door and stepping back into the cabin. She was met with frantic chatter and concerned looks so she sought out the familiar face of her aid. 

“What’s going on?” she asked as soon as she reached him. 

“I’m not sure” he whispered back and amidst the clamor of chaos and conversations she picked out enough words to make her blood run cold. 

“I’m going to go speak to the captain,” she said with a reassuring pat to Billy’s shoulder, but he merely nodded mutely as she turned and made her way to the front of the ship. 

She hesitated briefly, but raised her hand to knock at the door and waited anxiously for it to open and reveal the very man she was looking for standing there pale-faced and shaking. 

“Excuse me,” she began and pushed past him to enter the cabin and pulled the door closed to offer them some privacy and security. “One of the passengers has a shortwave wireless. They’ve heard a report that Caprica has been nuked.” 

The silence that followed was the only confirmation she needed, but still, she asked, “It has, hasn’t it?” 

“Caprica and three other colonies,” he confirmed solemnly and looked down at the paper in his hand containing the devastating report he’d received. 

His hand was shaking uncontrollably, and she gripped it with one of her own while using her other to gently take the paper from his grasp. 

They stood there for a moment each struggling to come to terms with the news. Finally, the captain regained a bit of his composure and moved away. “I guess, I uh...I should go make an announcement or something.” 

A sense of the responsibility that her position required moved through her, and she spoke up as calmly as she could manage, “I’ll do it. I’m a member of the political cabinet. It’s my responsibility.” 

He agreed, and she swallowed past the lump forming in her throat. 

“While I’m doing that, I would ask that you...contact the Ministry of Civil Defense. See what we can do to help.” He nodded in compliance to her request, and she turned to go when a sudden fear gripped her heart. 

_Bill._

He was the Commander of a Battlestar, and they were now at war. He would be heading towards Caprica and the devastated colonies to defend what was left of them. She thought back to her final moments with him and was filled with regret that those might be the last moments they would ever share. She needed to speak with him....to hear his voice one last time...to have one more moment. 

She turned back to the Captain and clenched her fist by her side as she resolved to make one more request. 

“Captain, I need you to try to reach Galactica. I need to speak to Commander Adama.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered at once and turned to settle back into his seat at the controls. 

She took one last calming breath before turning to head back towards the main passenger cabin. 

She needed to address the people. 

With each step, he mentally calculated how far her ship could have gotten and if they would have made it close enough to the planet by now to have fallen under attack. He shouldn’t have them coming back to Galactica. He should have Lee jump them somewhere else, somewhere safe. They’d both be safe if they could just jump away from here. He needed them to be far away from here. 

The C.I.C was a bustle of activity as he entered, and Saul was ordering each station with the precision of a man who’d seen war before and survived it. He took note of Bill walking in and started the Sit. Rep. 

“We’ve got a lot of chatter on all frequencies. Tell me this is some kind of prank for your retirement, Bill.” 

“No... this isn’t a prank,” he said and the hard edge to his tone removed all doubt. “Mr. Gaeta, did you reach Apollo?” 

“No, Sir. Neither Apollo nor the Captain of heavy liner 798 is answering hails. It could just be all the chatter interfering, or the Cylons could be jamming the signal.” 

“Keep trying!” he barked. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Try to get a hold of any of the other Battlestars,” he added and then turned to his XO. “Have we received orders?” 

“No,” Saul chimed in with a furrowed brow, “but we’re in no condition to fight. We don’t have weapons on board.” 

“We need to jump to the weapons hold at Ragnar and then get back here to lend a hand,” he ordered, and then picked up the wireless and moved his hand over the board to open the ship-wide comm. 

“Sir,” Dualla interrupted before he could click it on, “Preliminary reports indicate a thermonuclear device in the 50-megaton range was detonated over Capric city over 30 minutes ago. Nuclear detonations have been reported on the planets: Aerlon, Picon, Sagitarian, and Geminon. Fleet headquarters on Picon has been destroyed. Admiral Nagala has taken command of the fleet aboard the Battlestar Atlantia.” 

He saw the way her hands shook, and her eyes filled with grief and fear as she called out the report. She was young...too young...but they had a job to do. “Mourn the dead later. Right now, the best thing we can do is get this ship into the fight.” 

He held the wireless and flipped the switch to address the crew, “All hands, this is Commander Adama. We are at war with the Cylons. This is not a drill. I repeat we are at war with the Cylons. We are about to jump to our munitions outpost to pick up weapons so that we can return and join the fight. All pilots report to the hangar deck. We have trained for this, and I believe you are ready to defend the colonies. We will not go down without a fight. Adama out.” 

She tried to get answers from Jack once they had established the comlink, but he was panicked and disoriented. He couldn’t gather himself to give her any pertinent information, and she tried to calm him enough to confirm the current condition of President Adar. They were suddenly interrupted by the blaring alarms of the ships dradis monitor as the Captain answered the voice coming through his headset. 

“Where?” his panicked voice asked. “The Cylons have found us. There’s an inbound missile.” 

“Where the hell did our escort go?” she asked, and her eyes scanned quickly through each window trying to find Lee. 

Suddenly she saw Lee’s Viper swoop in and position itself between the missile and the heavy liner. Her immediate relief was pushed aside as dread and fear took its place. The missile was now locked on Lee. 

“No...” she whispered and her heart beat frantically in her chest as she prayed to all the lords of Kobol to protect him. She couldn’t lose him too. 

She stopped breathing as the space around them grew bright from the explosion and the ship rocked from the shockwave. 

“Lee!” She called out, and her eyes once more scanned each window with panicked tremors taking over her limbs. 

“Kypter, krypter, krypter. This is Apollo to Colonial Heavy 7-9-8. I’m declaring an emergency. Flight systems are off-line. Need Assistance.” 

Tears stung her eyes, and she reached a shaking hand up to brush them from her cheeks.

He was alive. 

“Let’s go get our hero,” she said to the Captain with a gentle hand on his shoulder as she turned to make her way out of the cabin to greet him. She would check him over herself. She couldn’t lose another one of her boys. 

The chaos in the CIC continued as the Commander and the XO tried to sort out reports and strategic information. 

Lieutenant Gaeta’s voice rang out over the din of noise, “Sir, new reports coming in. The fleet has taken heavy casualties. The Atlantia has been destroyed along with thirty other Battlestars. Atlantia reported equipment malfunction and full power loss on their vipers before they were destroyed. Other ships reported the same thing...like a flip was just switched off and they were dead in the water.” 

“Galactica is the only Battlestar reporting as still functioning,” Saul reported, and the weight of what that meant settled on Bill’s shoulders like an almost suffocating mantle. He squared his shoulders back and stood up straighter as he turned to Petty Officer Dualla. 

“Send a message to any Colonial ship still out there. I’m taking personal command of the fleet. We’re going to get ammunition, and we’ll be back as soon as we can to lead the fight.” 

“Yes sir,” she responded and turned her attention to the communications panel. 

“Thanks for the lift,” Lee joked as he climbed from his damaged viper. 

She laughed, but the sound was hollow and she felt tears forming in her eyes once more as he moved closer. 

The second he was close enough, she pulled him into her arms and held him tightly to her. 

It only took him a moment to return the gesture, and he felt his own eyes mist up. “I’m okay, Laura,” he whispered soothingly. 

“I know,” she replied softly and pulled away to look him over just to be sure, “but don’t you ever scare me like that again.” 

He laughed, and his heart filled at the love and care he could see in her eyes. He hadn’t stayed as close to her as Zak had, and now he found himself regretting that immensely. 

“Well,” she said to break the silence that had descended upon them, “I better get back up there. You coming?” 

He shook his head and turned back to his viper. “I need to check over the ship to see if I can get her flying again.” 

She nodded and watched as his hand reverently flew over his father’s call sign etched on the side of the old bird. She allowed herself one last moment to watch him before turning to make her way back to the main cabin. 

She had work to do. 

She made her way back to the front of the ship and knocked once again to be admitted into the cockpit. 

She stepped inside to the sounds of the emergency broadcast filling the small space. She knew what it meant.

“It’s an automated message,” her shaky voice spoke up, “It’s designed to be sent in case the president, the vice president, and most of the cabinet...are dead or incapacitated.” 

She looked up as Lee stepped into the small space with a look of concern stretched across his face. 

“I need you to send my ID code...back on the exact same frequency.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” the co-polite replied. 

She took a breath to calm her nerves and then called out the code, “D as in dog, dash, 456, dash, 345, dash, A as in apple.” Her chest was tight and her palms were sweaty as she nodded and gave a polite, “Thank you” before standing and making her way back out to the main cabin. 

Lee trailed close behind her and took the seat next to her as she eased herself into the one she’d been assigned for the flight. 

  
“How far down?” he asked and took in the pale tone to her face. She didn’t have to ask what he was referring to. They both knew what it meant when she called in her code.   


“43rd in line of succession. I know all 42 ahead of me from the president down. Most of us served with him in the first administration. Some of them came with him from the mayor’s office. I was there with him on his first campaign. I never liked the politics...I kept telling myself I was getting out, but...I had already lost everything that mattered to me...didn’t really have anything else and didn’t want the sacrifice to have been for nothing.” 

His reply was interrupted by the solemn presence of the ship’s Captain coming towards them. Wordlessly he handed her the paper, and she perused it as the silence stretched on. Lee watched as she straightened her spine and handed the paper back to him. 

“Thank you,” she said and slipped her arms into the jacket of her suit as though it were a suit of armor she was sliding into in preparation for the battle ahead of her. Only someone who had loved and known her the way that he had would have noticed the slight break in her voice as she turned fully to the captain. “We’ll need a priest.” 

Watching her hands shaking and tears pooling in her eyes as she took the office of the President of the Twelve Colonies would forever be cemented in his mind. 

There was no one in the world like Laura Roslin, and while his heart broke watching her take the fate of humanity into her shaking hands, he felt a sense of relief that she was there, she was alive, and she would be the one leading them through this. 

It felt like hours had past while at the same time feeling as though time had stubbornly stopped dead in its movement and refused to go forward again. He’d stopped asking for word on the heavy liner and his son, but he wasn’t sure how long ago it had been since he’d last checked. 

“Sir, I’ve got Apollo on the line!” Dee called out a moment later and relief flooded his heart. 

“Patch him through,” he commanded quickly. “Lee, are you okay?” he asked as soon as he heard the line click. 

“Yes, but I had to make an emergency landing on the heavy liner. We've had a couple of colonial raptors show up, and they say it's bad. The Cylons highjacked the computer systems of all the new vipers...they’re in the network. They’re wiping out the entire fleet with the flip of a kill switch. Your old viper is the only thing that kept me in the air.” 

He felt the air rush from his lungs at how close he could have come to losing the only son he had left. “Everyone on the ship is okay?” 

“Yeah...yeah, we’re all fine,” he answered and then added softly, “She’s fine, Dad,” knowing that his father needed to be sure of that. 

The flash of relief he felt was quickly tampered down by his need to make sure they remained safe. “You’ve got to get them out of there, Son. Spool up the drive and get them somewhere safe. Send the jump coordinates to Galactica, and we’ll get there as soon as we can. We’re headed to Ragnar.” 

“We can’t do that. Laura has us searching for survivors. Boomer is going out and getting any civilian ship to our current location.” 

He felt his heart start to hammer in his chest. “Laura can’t make that call. I’m ordering you to...” 

“Actually, sir, she can make that call. She’s just been confirmed as President of the colonies.” 

His heart stopped at those words. “Put her on the line.” 

“Bill, I’m not leaving,” she stated without preamble. “There are survivors here, and they need our help.” 

He closed his eyes as he tried to keep his frustration at bay. “Laura, it’s not safe.” 

“I’m not going to argue this with you. You do what you have to do, and so will we. We’ll get as many survivors as we can and then meet you at Ragnar Station,” She insisted in a tone he was intimately familiar with. He knew all too well that she wouldn’t back down. 

He choked down the worry and fear that tried to creep up. “You don’t have a lot of time before the Cylon raiders detect you. They have nukes,” he warned. “We’re sending emergency jump coordinates to your ship. Save who you can but have the drive ready to spool up and at the first sign of trouble you get the frack out of there.” 

“Understood,” she agreed firmly, but then she remembered her earlier desperation to not end things between them the way that they had, and her tone grew soft as she added, “Good hunting, Commander...and Bill...don’t die out there.” 

A sad smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “I won’t if you won’t Madam President.” 

“Deal,” she agreed and he could hear the smile in her voice. “One more thing, Bill...” 

“Yes?” 

“Now would be a good time to thank me for saving your ship,” she stated, and if he closed his eyes he could almost picture the teasing mischief in her own. It made his chest tighten with longing and remembrance of happier times. 

“Yeah...I thought so too,” he agreed. “Thanks. I owe you one.” 

“And I plan on collecting...so be safe.” 

“You too, Laura,” he said and set the receiver back in place as the call went dead. 

“Sir we’ve sent the jump coordinates to...umm...Colonial One,” Gaeta called out. 

“Good. Set Condition One throughout the ship and spool up the jump drive. Prepare to jump.” 

“Jump prep complete. Drive is spoiled up. Ready to jump in 3-2-1...” 

“Jump.” 

“Jump complete, Sir. We are outside the nebula surrounding the station.” 

“Helm, take us in.” 

“Aye, Sir.” 

She assigned various members of the crew and press to certain tasks that would allow them to take as many refugees as the ship could hold. Each time the raptor returned with another ship, the young pilot would update them on the current status of Galactica. She kept herself busy trying not to think about Bill returning to the colonies and thrusting his ship into a war they had no hope of winning. She selfishly wished she could just order him to stand down and find somewhere safe they set down until they could come up with a plan that didn’t involve his imminent death. She knew she couldn’t just order him, though, he would never take it and if he did he would be haunted by a litany of “what if’s” that would chase him through the galaxy wherever they went. He would blame her. She could live with that. He already didn’t love her anymore. What she couldn’t live with was how it would eat away at him. She wouldn’t order him, but she would try to appeal to him from a tactical standpoint. She had to try. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Lee coming towards her with a look of fear upon his face. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, and her heart constricted as he tried to find the words. 

“It’s dad. There was an accident on the station and he’s trapped. They’re not sure they can get to him, and he’s trapped with a man they found on the station. Saul said the guy seemed dangerous and unstable.” 

She froze. She had just been overwhelmed by the idea of losing him to battle, and now she finds out she might lose him before he could even make it to the fight. 

“Captain, Madam President,” the Captain called out from the open cockpit door. “We’ve got incoming! Inbound Cylon fighters.” 

“How long till they get here?” Lee asked as they moved quickly towards the cockpit. 

“ETA is less than 10 minutes.” 

“We’ve got to go,” Lee said and turned to Laura with a grim expression. 

She knew what needed to be done, but the thought of what it would cost cut through her. Billy had already given her the list of the ships without FTL drives. They'd never make it. She steeled herself and made the call, “Order the fleet to jump to Ragnar immediately.” 

A hushed silence hovered around them as the weight of her decision settled over them all. 

The Captain gave the order and immediately the frightened chatter came through the comm line. 

“The Cylons are right on top of us!” The captain yelled, and her eyes glanced at the time remaining for the FTL drive to finish spoiling up. 

Explosions lit up the space around them. 

They were out of time. 


	10. Chapter 10

_11 years ago._

_He only had a stack of paperwork standing between him and shore leave. Just a little work and he would be on his way home. To Laura. He couldn’t keep the grin off of his face._

_“You seem awfully pleased about something,” Saul’s gruff voice broke into his thoughts. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with that redhead of yours would it?”_

_He looked up and his smile grew at the thought of seeing her. “She’ll be at the transport waiting for me when I get there.”_

_“Oh? big plans for the week?” his friend asked as he leaned back in the chair across from him._

_“You could say that_ _,”_ _he said and opened his desk drawer and pulled the small box out to carefully place on the desk._

_Saul’s_ _whistle filled the small room. “You really ought to think about that, Bill. You’re going to be stuck with that woman for the rest of your life if you go through with it.”_

_“I know,” he said and picked up the ring to study it once more. “That’s why I’m asking her.”_

_“You sure she wants a life tracking you from base to base? She’s too smart and ambitious to just be your girl in port and you know it.”_

_He did know it. Laura deserved so much more than that, and while he was certain he would never ever deserve her, he was determined to give her everything that he could._

_“I do...” he agreed and watched his friend’s reaction as he delivered his next words, “which is why I decided not to take the promotion. I’m going to muster out and get a civilian job.”_

_Saul’s eyes grew huge in surprise and he came close to losing his balance and falling out of the chair he’d leaned back in. “You’ve_ _gotta_ _be_ _frakkin_ _kidding me! You’re going to give up your career for a woman?! It’s a world gone mad! Did she put you up to this? Say she won’t stick around if you’re not home to play house?”_

_He grew defensive at Saul's characterization of Laura. She would never ask that of him. “No. Laura’s always supported my career...and I know if I wanted to stay in then she’d live that life for me.”_

_“Then why muster out?” he asked, and his tone held genuine confusion._

_He wasn’t sure he’d be able to adequately explain it to his friend, but he knew he needed to try. “I don’t want to live that life. I don’t want to go months without seeing her. I want to spend more time with her...the boys...settle down and have a family. I don’t want a life without her, and I’m going to do what it takes to make sure I get to be with her.”_

_“You’re going to regret it,” Saul warned with a shake of his head. “You’ll regret it and resent her for being the reason you gave up on your dream.”_

_He shook his head with a sad smile. “I haven’t given up on my dream. I just found myself a better one.”_

_She was there when he stepped off the transport. He spotted her reaching up on her tiptoes to see him above the crowd, and the brilliant smile that lit up her face when she finally did, simply confirmed that he was making the right choice. He tapped the side pocket of his bag to assure himself the little box was still there. He just needed to find the perfect time to ask her._

_He dropped his bag and opened his arms to catch her as she launched herself_ _into him with a happy giggle bursting from her_ _mouth._

_“You’re home!” She exclaimed with_ _unconfined_ _joy as he set her back down on her feet. Her hands slid up his chest to frame his face and her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I missed you!”_

_He sighed in contentment when the fingers of her right hand moved to stroke the hair at his temple. “I missed you too, Laura.”_

_She reached up and kissed him slowly like it’s all she’d been thinking about while he was away, and he pulled her closer as he kissed her back with equal fervor._

_“Let’s get out of here,” she breathed as they parted, and she opened her eyes to look at him suggestively. He picked up his bag and grabbed her hand on his way to the exit. She laughed with unbridled delight as he pulled her quickly behind him through the crowd, and the sound made his heart feel so incredibly full._

_He woke up to the feel of her body draped over his, and he was perfectly content to be her personal body pillow for the rest of his life. Smooth skin moved against his own as she tightened her arm around his waist in her sleep._

_She hummed happily as_ _the vestiges of sleep slowly faded and she realized_ _where she was and that he was home with her after so many months apart._

_He_ _stroked his fingers through her hair and watched the smile grow across her face._

_“Mmm….I like waking up to you…” she murmured into his skin._

_He smiled. “Think you’ll grow tired of it eventually?”_

_“Nuh-uh_ _” she mumbled into his chest._

_“Me either,” he whispered softly, and she held him tighter._

_“I think you should just marry me then,” she said quietly, and his chest shook with laughter beneath her cheek._

_She was suddenly wide awake and watching him with narrowed eyes from where she had propped herself up on his chest._

_“I’m glad the idea of being wed to me brings you so much amusement, Bill Adama.”_

_“It only amuses me that you brought up the idea.”_

_She playfully poked his ribs and her tone held a hint of warning. “You’ve got about five seconds to explain to me why that’s funny.”_

_He reached up to brush his fingers across her cheek with a tender look in his eyes as he lovingly explained, “Because, my darling Laura, only you could thwart my plans to propose to you by proposing to me yourself.”_

_“You were planning to propose?” She whispered in surprise._

_He said nothing as he carefully extracted himself from beneath her and slipped from the bed. She watched silently as he made his way across the room where he’d dropped his duffle bag the night before and rummaged through it for a moment before making his way back to_ _her_ _._

_She sat up with the sheet wrapped around her_ _and_ _nervous excitement dancing in her green eyes as he knelt down beside the bed and reached for her hand._

_“Laura, I have loved you since the night I met you…and you were so so stubborn. I didn’t think I’d ever met a more obstinate…”_

_“I thought this was supposed to be romantic…” she interrupted with an elegant brow arched in warning._

_His smile grew as he continued, “But you were so beautiful and passionate about books, and music, and life, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you and just wanted to know everything about you. Every day with you…every moment from that day forward has been a gift…”_

_“From the gods…” she whispered with eyes shining brightly with unshed tears._

_“From you,” he whispered back with tears of his own. “It’s been the greatest gift to be the one you trust your heart with, and I promise to spend the rest of our lives showing you how much I love you.”_

_Her eyes were filled with tears as she sat there with mussed hair and the bedsheet tucked around her. This was a far cry from the romantic evening he had envisioned for this moment, but his heart was indescribably full and all that mattered to him was this moment with her._

_“Marry me, Laura,” he pleaded, and the tears flowed freely down her face._

_She reached her hand out to grasp his cheek and she nodded her head as a smile broke out across her face. “Oh, Yes, Sir.”_

_He slid the ring on her finger and her lips found his as her arms tugged until he was kneeling on the bed next to her. She laid back taking him with her as the kisses transitioned from celebratory to passionate._

_Three days later found them in a sectioned off room in their favorite restaurant filled with friends to celebrate their engagement. She’d been surprised when Saul had called and told them about the surprise he had planned. She had not been sure that he even approved of her let alone felt the need to throw them a party, but she would treasure the sentiment and consider the acceptance of Bill’s best friend as something to be taken and not questioned._

_They’d been separated throughout the night each connecting with their friends and holding conversations with the_ _well-wishers_ _. She glanced across the room to see him talking to a man she recognized from his ship, and her heart flooded with affection as his deep laugh touched her ears. She would be with him later that evening when they made their way home to celebrate alone. She felt the familiar butterflies swarm her stomach as she thought about how they would be celebrating._

_“It’s nice to finally meet the woman who stole the Commander’s heart,” a voice rang out behind her and she turned to find Admiral_ _Nagala_ _with a glass in hand and smile on his time-weathered face._

_“Admiral,” she greeted “it’s nice to finally meet you as well. Bill speaks so highly of you.”_

_His smile was warm and she returned it happily as he continued speaking. “I’ve known Bill since he joined up. He’s a fine officer, and I’m proud of the man he’s become. He speaks quite highly of you too, young lady. I’ve never seen him so happy.”_

_“I can assure you the feeling is mutual,” she said and the familiar rush of affection flooded her heart at the thought of Bill._

_He grinned behind his glass. “I can tell.”_

_A comfortable silence reigned between them as they each admired the object of_ _their_ _conversation across the room._

_“It’s a shame to lose such a fine officer, but having met you I can see now why he decided to turn down the promotion.”_

_Her hand stilled leaving the glass she was bringing to her lips hovering as her mind worked to process his words. He continued on unaware of her confusion._

_“It’s always been his dream to make Admiral and this promotion would have been the stepping stone to get him there. Imagine the shock on my face when he came to me to say he was turning it down and mustering out...all for a woman. I’d never thought I’d see the day that Husker would muster out for anything...let alone for love. I figured you must be pretty special for him to give up everything he’s worked so hard for. I’m glad to see I was right.”_

_She smiled but her insides were in knots. He hadn’t told her about the promotion or his plans to muster out. She knew what his career meant to him. She knew how hard he had worked and to hear that he was so close to having his dreams come to fruition churned her stomach. He was giving it all up for her. She glanced around the room to see all of those who had come to see Bill tonight. All of them were in the service. His whole life revolved around the military and she was about to take that away from him. Her fingers reached over to the hand that held her glass and she ran her fingertips over the diamond resting on her finger._

_“Everything okay?” the Admiral’s gentle voice spoke next to her, and she forced a smile to her face._

_“Yes...yes...I umm_ _..._ _I’m sorry, Admiral, it was so nice to meet you. If you’ll excuse me.” she stuttered and slipped away to get some air._

_She took long deep breaths once she was safely outside._

_“Great party, huh?” she heard ring out, and she turned her head to see the half-drunk form of Ellen_ _Tigh_ _staggering towards her with the full glass in her hand teetering precariously. The dark liquid swishing to each side as she walked threatened to escape the confines of the glass._

_“Congrats on snagging the Old Man,” She continued, and Laura steeled herself for the encounter. A sober Ellen was just fine with her, but the minute the alcohol touched her lips the woman became insufferable._

_Not bothered in the slightest by Laura’s silence, Ellen prattled on, “I never thought I’d see the day that Bill Adama decided to settle down and play house. A wife and kids couldn’t get him to stay planetside before, but the charming Laura Roslin managed to knock the soldier out of him. What’s your secret? I’d like to try it on Saul.”_

_Laura’s jaw clenched to keep silent, but Ellen never needed anyone else to contribute to the conversation when she was like this. “What’s he going to do now? There’s not a big job market for washed-up Commanders is there? Oh gosh! He hasn’t been a civilian for as long as I’ve known him. He’s going to be miserable!”_

_“What’s he going to do? Mind the house waiting for you to come home from work...plant a garden while you pursue your career?” she continued. “Congrats by the way! I heard about the offer you got to join Mayor Adar’s campaign. Oh, that’s going to be rich! Bill just loves politics!”_

_Her drunken giggle set Laura’s teeth on edge, but the words resonated too deeply to dismiss them outright. “I haven’t accepted the offer. I was waiting to talk to Bill about it first.”_

_“Oh, you’re going to take the offer. It’s a huge career boon for you, and now you won’t have to worry about Bill’s career getting in the way. He’s giving it up for you! That’s quite the demotion for him though, going from highly decorated Commander to the whipped husband of a politician. Just thinking of how uncomfortable Bill’s going to be trying to fit into your world makes me want to buy tickets to all of your fundraisers. What a laugh that’s going to be!”_

_“Ellen...”_

_“_ _Oh_ _I’m sorry!” Ellen slurred and put a hand on Laura’s shoulder. “I’m not trying to upset you, dear. We’re just having girl talk! I’m sure you’ll be just happy together. Love is all you need right?”_

_She took a step back and Ellen’s hand dropped from her shoulder. “This is something for Bill and I to discuss.”_

_“Oh of course! Let me just offer a piece of advice....as a married woman,” she said and leaned in close to divulge her secret, “Love is never enough. Men need purpose....to feel like they’re respected and have goals and ambitions to work toward. If you take that away from him, he’ll grow to resent you eventually. That’s why I let my Saul go off on his ship and do whatever it is he does up there while I stay here and keep myself...occupied. We’ve been happily married for ages.”_

_“I’ll keep that in mind, Ellen,” she forced out as politely as she could manage._

_“Oh anytime!” She gushed and tipped her glass back to finish it off. “You’re marrying my husband’s beloved best friend...the only one he loves more than me. I’m sure we’ll have lots of chances for talks like this.”_

_“Wonderful,” she said through clenched teeth with a forced smile upon her face, but Ellen hardly noticed the tension._

_“Well...my glass is empty. Time to head back in for another. Don’t stay out here too long, Laura dear, it’s terribly rude to skip out on your own party.”_

_With that she spun around with more grace and balance than anyone with as much alcohol in their system as she had should exhibit. She took a moment to gather herself before forcing a smile to her lips and stepping back into the party._

_Bill knew the moment he saw her that something wasn’t right, but she had claimed she was just tired and he let it go in favor of bringing it up again later when they were alone._

_She was quiet on the way home, and he could tell she had something on her mind. He waited until they were inside and helped her out of her coat before asking her what was wrong._

_She turned to face him with arms crossed protectively over her chest as though she could shield herself from what this_ _conversation_ _would inevitably bring. “You didn’t tell me about the promotion.”_

_“Because I knew I wasn’t going to take it,” he said with a shrug._

_Her arms uncrossed and her hands moved to her hips in frustration. “And just when were you going to tell me you were going to muster out.”_

_“I wasn’t intentionally keeping it from you,” he sighed beginning to realize why she was upset, “It just hadn’t come up yet.”_

_“I never asked you to muster out, Bill,” she said defensively, and his brows furrowed in confusion._

_“I know you didn’t. I never said you did. I want to be with you. I want to start a life with you and the boys.”_

_She softened a bit at that, but her hand moved to massage the back of her neck and he knew she was thinking through something. He wasn’t surprised when she offered an alternative._

_“What if you don’t muster out yet and take the promotion. You could stay in for a few more years...make Admiral.”_

_He shook his head. “Then I’d only be with you on shore leaves here and there throughout the year.”_

_She shrugged and offered him a half-hearted smile. “We’ve made it work so far.”_

_“Long-distance marriage is entirely different,” he said and felt his own frustration bubbling up._

_“It’s worked for Saul and Ellen all these years,” she argued and his resulting laugh was humorless. His eyes narrowed at her trying to understand her and keep his temper in check as she pushed._

_“That’s because Ellen makes her way from a barstool to someone’s bed every night, and Saul is an old fool who loves her too much to leave her. Is that the life you want?”_

_“Of course not!” she scoffed, “But the offer to join Adar’s campaign came up again. Would you be happy following me around to political functions...endless fundraisers and events? You hate those things.”_

_“But I love YOU,” he argued, “I’d go to those things for you, and I’d like to think of it as escorting my wife rather than following you around like a lovesick puppy.”_

_She sighed and her own frustration poured out. “You know what I mean, Bill. I don’t want you to give up your career to watch me pursue mine. That’s not fair to you.”_

_She wasn’t listening, and he was growing more irritated with each second as she continued to try to talk him into something when he’d already made up his mind. He took a deep breath and tried to make her understand._

_“I want to be with you, Laura. Only seeing each other a few weeks out of the year isn’t fair to either of us, and I won’t do that again. I want a life with you, Laura. I want a life with you and the boys, and that won’t happen if I don’t muster out.”_

_He wasn’t even trying to hear her out and she was struggling to keep her tone even and emotions in check. He had made up his mind without even discussing it with her, and now he was being so stubborn and refusing to even consider what she was suggesting. She took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. She just needed him to listen and consider what she was saying._

_“We can still have that. We can have that in a couple of years once you’ve made Admiral. You could just wait and muster out then. You might not even have to muster out at all if you could be stationed planetside. We can wait a little longer to get married.”_

_He ran his hand over his face with a tired sigh. “And what if it takes more than a couple of years, Laura? We’re in peacetime and there’s already talk of having non-essential officers relieved of duty to cut cost in the military budget. There’s not a lot of promotions going around. It could take several years, or I might not even get the promotion.”_

_She smiled at this. She didn’t doubt for a minute that he would get his Admiral’s wings. She had absolute faith in him. “You’ll get it, Bill. You’re a good man and a good officer. You’ll make Admiral...if you stay in.”_

_He felt like he was banging his head against the wall. “Why are you so set on this, Laura? This was my decision. You’re not forcing me into this. I’m choosing to be with you. I’m choosing ‘us’.”_

_It should have been a romantic declaration. She should have been overwhelmed with love an_ _d_ _gratitude that he was putting her above all else, but the words of Admiral_ _Nagala_ _and Ellen flooded her mind instead and filled her doubts and insecurities. Her mind focused on the wrong words in his declaration, and her heart couldn’t seem to make her mind see reason._

_She felt her spine stiffen and anger rise until she couldn’t help but lash out. “YOUR decision. You didn’t even talk to me about it. You just made the decision that would affect us both. YOU made this choice to walk away from everything you’ve worked your whole career for. I didn’t ask you to do that, Bill.”_

_“You didn’t have to! I want to,” he huffed and felt his temper rising. “I’ve done it the other way, Laura, and it doesn’t work. It’s not the kind of marriage I want.”_

_“I’m not her!” She all but shouted. “What we have is different. It won’t be like it was before, because I’m not Carolanne!”_

_“I know that!” He shouted back, “I would have never even considered this for her!” He blew out a long breath trying to regain control of his emotions. She was_ _quietly_ _watching him as if she wasn’t sure what to say anymore, and he decided to use the moment of calm to his advantage._

_“A life with you is what I want Laura. I just want to be with you...nothing else matters,” he said softly and could tell that his words had reached her heart._

_She had tears in her eyes and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she considered his words. She shook her head slowly a sad, pained expression marring her features. “You say that now...but a few years from now you’ll grow bored or tired of all the political nonsense and you’ll resent me.”_

_“I’ll never...”_

_“You can’t promise that, Bill,” she interrupted and reached up to brush a tear from her cheek with a huff of frustration. “You thought your first marriage was going to work out when you made your vows. No one goes into marriage thinking it’s going to fail. It just happens.”_

_His chest felt tight. She was so sure that the path they were on would end in failure and doubts started to make their way into his mind. “Why are you doing this, Laura? Do you not want to marry me?”_

_Her breath hitched and a slight choking sound pushed past her lips. “I want you to be happy.”_

_“But this will make me happy,” he argued and she closed her eyes tightly and shook her head once more._

_“I can’t...” she whispered and then opened her eyes with a resolved expression taking over her face. “we need to take a step back and really think about this.”_

_His temper pushed past his better judgment. “What is there to think about?” he growled “You either want to marry me or you don’t. If we get married then I’m going to muster out and do this right.”_

_She stood just a couple of steps in front of him. He’d never seen her look quite so broken and lost. His heart clenched and dread filled his stomach._

_“Then I can’t marry you,” she said and though her tone was soft and sad, he felt like he’d been punched in the gut._

_“Laura, you’re just being stubborn,” he said through clenched teeth, but she shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself once more._

_“No...I’m not. I love you, Bill. I love you so much that I can’t breathe sometimes. But love isn’t enough.”_

_“Don’t do this, Laura,” he pleaded._

_“You’re not willing to compromise on this and neither am I.”_

_His frustration got the better of him and he lashed out again, “I won’t beg you to be with me. If you do this, it’s over. Think before you speak...maybe take the night...”_

_Her eyes latched onto his studying him with silent intensity as she asked, “Will you even consider staying in and not mustering out?”_

_“No.”_

_She nodded and pressed her lips together trying desperately to calm herself. “Then there really isn’t anything to think about is there?”_

_The tears streaming down her cheeks cut through his anger, and he reached up to brush them away but she stepped back with a shake of her head._

_“Laura...”_

_“I love you, Bill,” she choked out. “I love you enough to do what has to be done.”_

_“How can you possibly think this is the right thing to do?” he asked, and she shrugged helplessly._

_“I just couldn’t live with costing you so much. You’re so stubborn you won’t even consider another option. You’re so afraid to live alone.”_

_“And you’re afraid to die that way...that your death will be just as meaningless as the rest of your family's." He knew he'd crossed a line with that remark, but he was hurt and kept on._

_"You’d rather push me away than have to face the chance you might lose someone else. You can’t just shut off your heart and stop caring about people because you’re afraid you’ll lose them. You’re so afraid to someday end up alone that you’re condemning us both to live that way.”_

_She clenched her jaw to keep her emotions from spilling out. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing just how much his words broke her. She reached down and eased the ring off her finger before offering it up to him._

_“Keep it,” he snarled. “Do what you want with it. What use could I possibly have for the reminder?”_

_She closed her fist around the ring and felt the stone biting into the flesh of her palm._

_“I’m going back to the ship,” he muttered, and she’d barely registered his words before the slamming of the door reached her ears. Her whole body was shaking from rage and grief. She sank into the couch as the pain raced through her body and it shook with violent sobs. She clutched the ring in her hand as her heart shattered. She looked around the room and her heart broke at all the signs of the life they had built together. She felt sick and just wanted him to come back home, but she’d made her choice and now she’d have to live with it._

_He knew he’d made a mistake the moment he got into his car and drove away. They’d been through too much to throw it all away. Still, his pride and temper kept him from turning the car around, and instead, he’d found himself meeting Saul at a bar to drown his sorrows. He’d passed out on his old friend’s couch a few hours later having drunk himself to oblivion._

_He cleaned up the next morning once he’d sobered up and was determined to go home and fix the mess they’d made._

_His blood turned cold the moment he stepped into the house and noticed the missing frames from the mantel and lack of the obvious touches Laura had added to their home. He moved frantically from room to room to find the same result in each. All of her things were gone._

_Laura was gone._

_Just like that she’d walked away and scrubbed herself from his life as though the life they’d created together meant nothing. The pain in his chest was unbearable. He picked up his phone and dialed the numbers he’d known by heart since the night she’d scribbled them on that napkin with a blush on her cheeks._

_The sound of her voice filled his ears, and he closed his eyes tight as her voicemail played out. He ended the call and threw the phone across the room barely registering the pieces bouncing from the wall in various directions._

_It was over._

_They’d made their choice and now they’d have to live with it._


	11. Chapter 11

It had been foolish of him to hope that they could have a smooth time transferring the ammo and gear to the ship. 

The Cylon had almost killed him, and he was reeling from how very human it had looked. Had it not been from the effects the radiation on the station was having, he would have never figured it out. 

As soon as Colonial One showed up, he would send over the new jump coordinates and head back to the colonies. The identification of a Cylon on the base meant that they were aware of its location and the colonist would not be safe to wait there. He had Gaeta working on the new coordinates now. He would make sure they were safe. It might be the last thing he could do for them, but he couldn’t go until he could make sure they would survive. 

He had to know they would survive. 

They had been there for a couple of hours and received no word from Colonial One. He couldn’t afford to wait much longer when the colonies were under attack. He shouldn’t have even waited as long as he had, but it had taken time to load as much ammunition onto Galactica as they could hold and he had a responsibility to ensure the safety of the President. That’s the excuse he would put in his report if it came to that, but he knew in his gut there would be no reports. There was no one left to report to, and this would be Galactica’s final mission. 

He was sure of that. 

“Any word from Apollo or Colonial One?” He asked as he entered the C.I.C. 

“No Sir,” Dualla replied, “but the raptor we sent to their last location has just entered DRADIS contact and is asking for Galactica Actual.” 

“Put it through,” he commanded and picked up the phone “This is Galactica Actual, report.” 

“Sir, I’m sorry...but...there are no ships there. Just a massive pile of debris. There was an attack sir...nothing left but hull fragments. No survivors.” 

All the air rushed from his lungs at those words, and grief slammed into him. 

No survivors. 

His son and the love of his life were gone. Everything that mattered to him was gone in an instant. He didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye....to tell them how much he loved them. 

He looked up to see the sorrow in his XO’s eyes. His old friend knew exactly what he’d just lost and how much it was costing him now to hold it together. 

He didn’t even have time to grieve right now. He was the commander of a Battlestar, and they were at war. 

He cleared his throat and blinked back the haze of moisture in his eyes as he addressed the raptor pilot once more, “Get back to the barn. We’ve got to get back to the colonies.” 

“Wilco, Galactica Actual. Returning to the barn now.” 

He placed the phone back into place with a resounding click in the silent CIC. He felt all eyes on him as he tried to focus past the blurry screen above him and the bile rising in his throat. 

“Mr. Gaeta,” he called out and paused when his voice broke, “start jump preparations for our return to the colonies. As soon as that Raptor is back on board, we’re going back. Have the Chief prepare the deck and have as many of those old birds that he was able to restore from the museum display in the tubes and ready to launch as soon as we arrive.” 

“Yes, Sir,” he responded and turned back to his station to complete the order. 

Bill squared his shoulders and relied on his years of military training to force his mind to focus as he called out more orders. “Someone go down to the brig and get Starbuck up here. I want a plan of attack, and I need all the pilots I can get.” 

“Sir!” Gaeta called out. “I’ve got multiple DRADIS contacts entering the storm!” 

“Cylons?” he asked, and the room went deathly silent waiting. 

He felt the tension coiling tight in his belly and shared a quick look of alarm with his XO. The seconds seemed to stretch on as Gaeta tried to identify the ships that had just appeared. 

“No...no, sir,” he started and then grew confident as the data became clearer, “they’re.... they’re colonial, Sir! I’ve got over fifty ships with Colonial ID.” 

“Sir,” Dualla interrupted. “I’ve got Colonial One on the line. The President is requesting permission to come aboard Galactica.” 

Laura. 

“Permission granted. Have a couple of vipers escort them over.” 

“Aye, Sir.” 

He closed his eyes as relief washed over him. They were alive. 

They were alive. 

A touch to his shoulder brought him back to the C.I.C, and the soft smile of his old friend was almost enough to break through his façade of strength. 

“Get down there, Bill,” he said softly. “I’ll get things ready here. You go see your family.” 

He gripped his arm in gratitude with a look that conveyed just how much the man’s support meant to him. He took a steadying breath and turned to make his way to the hangar deck. 

He’d get to tell them he loved them, and he’d get to say goodbye. 

They sat quietly on the raptor headed for Galactica. Each of them was lost in their own thoughts until finally, Lee spoke up. 

“I was so angry at my father when you left. Nothing mattered to him more than his precious military. It drove you away...” 

Her head snapped up. “What?” 

“He chose his career as a soldier over being with you,” he replied and gave a frustrated shake of his head. 

Her heart ached as realization washed over her. “He never told you?” 

“Told me what?” 

She clasped her hands in her lap and looked up to see confusion clouding his eyes. “He wanted to muster out and get married. He was going to give it up, but I ended it.” 

His eyes narrowed. “What? I thought you loved him.” 

“I did!” she confirmed and wet her lips as she tried to find the words to explain. “I couldn’t let him give up his career for me, and he wasn’t willing to stay enlisted if we got married so I ended it.” 

He bowed his head and his shoulders slumped with a sigh. “All this time I blamed him for you leaving....and then Zak...I guess that makes sense why he has that picture on his desk then.” 

“Picture?” she asked, and he looked up with a soft smile. 

“Yeah, the picture of you in the frame on his desk. He had a couple more of you around the house...but the one on his desk is his favorite. It traveled with him everywhere all these years. I never knew why he would keep them around... I just always thought maybe he regretted letting you go but was too proud to admit it...guess it all adds up now.” 

He watched her reaction carefully as she came to terms with his words. Quietly he added, “He still loves you. He never stopped, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.” 

Her head shot up, and her eyes locked with his. “Of course, it matters. It matters to me.” 

“It’s not like you can fix anything now. It’s the end of the world, Laura,” he said with a sad shake of his head. “He’s going back to the colonies as soon as he makes sure that we’re going to be safe, and you and I both know that’s a suicide mission. He’ll never make it back alive if he tries to face off against the Cylons. He’ll go down with the ship.” 

She ran her tongue over dry lips as she tried to push back the pain that came at the thought of losing Bill. She took a deep breath and turned to Lee with her resolve firmly in place. “Then we just need to make sure he doesn’t go. We have to make him see reason, Lee.” 

“You know how stubborn he can be...” he reminded her, but a slow smirk tugged at her lips. 

“Oh, believe me, I remember...but I’m stubborn too...and I’ve got a lot at stake here. I’m not willing to back down.” 

He knew she would do anything within her power to try to convince his father. The look of determination in her eyes made that clear, but it was the soft pain-filled whisper of, “I can’t lose him again,” that really sold him on the idea that she just might pull it off. 

“Galactica, this is Boomer, we’re on final approach,” they heard Sharon say, and they settled themselves into their seats in preparation for landing. 

He really hoped his dad listens. 

She climbed from the raptor on unsteady legs and smiled at Lee in appreciation as he helped her down. She turned, and all the air rushed from her lungs. It was one thing to know he was safe, but it was entirely different to see him standing just a few steps away. 

She brought the back of her hand to her mouth to cover the sob she felt rising from deep within her, and her vision blurred. She'd been so nervous on the flight over wondering how he would react, or if he even wanted to see her. She studied him carefully as the moment played out. 

His hands were clenched by his side, but his eyes...his eyes held such grief and distress and relief all at once, and the choked sound that broke from his own lips was her undoing. 

They moved in tandem towards each other, and she crashed into his arms as sobs racked her body. He held her almost painfully tight, but she felt she couldn't get close enough to him still. 

He whispered her name over and over like a prayer, and she felt him shaking in her arms. 

When he pulled away, he held her face between his large hands as his eyes searched her features to ensure that she really was okay. 

"Missed you," he offered with a smile and her heart started pounding in her ears. 

"Me too," she replied and came undone at the look of affection filling his eyes. 

She felt all of the years apart, all of their wasted time, overwhelm her, and she broke at the thought of wasting even one more moment of their life. "I love you," she choked out past her tears, and his eyes closed tightly for a moment before he pulled her back into his arms. 

"About time," he whispered, and she laughed happily in response. 

"I never stopped, Laura," he confessed softly, "not even for a moment, no matter how much it hurt I still loved you." 

She squeezed her eyes shut at his words and her heart beat unsteadily. "I never stopped, either, I've missed you so much." 

He pulled back again to look at her, and one hand reached up to brush a strand of hair behind her ear and cup her cheek. “We thought you were dead. There was so much debris.” 

“The Cylons showed up,” she explained. “A few of the ships didn’t have an FTL drive, and we had to leave them behind...gods, Bill,...all those people...” her voice broke as she trailed off unable to finish. 

“I know,” he said soothingly and pulled her into his arms once more. 

As much as he wanted to cling to this moment and hold on tighter to the woman in his arms, he knew they couldn’t stay there. There was a war to fight. “We’ve almost got jump coordinates ready. You and Lee will lead the fleet away from here. The Cylons know where this base is. It isn’t safe to stay here.” 

“What about you?” she asked even though she knew the answer. 

“Galactica will make sure you jump out of here safely and then return to the colonies.” 

“Bill...” she started, but he cut her off. He knew what she was going to say. 

“This is a Battlestar, Laura. It’s our duty to return and fight.” 

Her plans for a rational and calm discussion flew out the window. “That’s insane, Bill! It’s all gone! All of it! The war is over and we lost!” 

“We don’t know that. If we have a chance to...” 

“There’s nothing left to defend!” she all but shouted. “You’d be leading this crew into a suicide mission. We are all that is left of humanity. Look at the facts, Bill. How long do you think a civilian fleet could survive out there unprotected? Without protection from Galactica, we won’t survive. Will you at least consider that?!” 

He studied her quietly for a moment and then glanced over at Lee who had been quietly watching their exchange at a respectful distance. “Captain, Madam President, we should discuss this somewhere else,” he spoke. 

She nodded in relief that he was at least willing to hear her out. Lee seemed pleased as well and they both fell into step with him as he led them off the hangar deck. 

“Have Colonel Tigh meet us in my office,” he commanded to one of the officers who quickly moved to the wireless on the wall to carry out the order. 

The XO was waiting by the hatch when they arrived, and they all moved inside together to continue their discussion. 

“What’s the hold-up?” Saul asked with the usual hint of irritation lacing his tone. “We’ve got a war goin' on and we’re gathered in here for tea.” 

“I don’t know why I’m the one who has to keep mentioning this,” she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off the headache she felt coming on, “but the war is over. There’s nothing left on the colonies. Even if you could, by some miracle, chase off the Cylons, they’ve nuked everything. None of the colonies will be habitable for years. The only thing we can do now is try to find a new home and ensure that what’s left of humanity survives.” 

Saul’s mouth fell open in shock. “You want us to run?” 

“Yes!” she responded with a resolved tone. “As far and as fast as we can!” 

“This is a Battlestar!” Saul cried, “We’re not running like a bunch of yellow-bellied cowards!” 

She closed her eyes in frustration before turning to Bill. “Bill, please...you know I’m right.” 

“Oh, don’t even try to sway the Old Man. He’s used to you running when things get hard,” Saul snarked, and she felt his words like a punch to her gut. 

“Enough, Saul!” Bill growled, and Saul shook his head in frustration. 

She mentally counted to ten and pulled deep from within her all of the training and experience as a politician dealing with unreasonable Quorum members and constituents. “Fifty thousand people is all that is left of the human race. That’s the reality. We need to get them out of here and start having babies if there is any hope for humanity’s future. We can’t do that without protection from Galactica. The Cylons are intent on wiping us out. If you want to fight them...if you want to beat them...then you have to make sure they don’t do that. You have to protect the civilian fleet.” 

“She’s right, Dad,” Lee spoke up. “They have no weapons. If the Cylons find them, it’ll be over in a matter of seconds, and all that’s left of humanity...all that’s left of us...will be gone. That’s what they want, and if you leave, they’ll win.” 

“Bill, please,” she pleaded. “They’re goal is to wipe out all of humanity. The only way to stop them....to beat them...is to make sure they don’t succeed. You have to protect the fleet. That’s the battle we have in front of us. It’s the only way we can still win here.” 

They knew she was right. Even Saul’s demeanor had softened as the reality of the picture she had painted for them sank in. The only way to beat the Cylons was to run and keep them from finding what was left of the human race. 

“I’ll head to the CIC,” Saul said quietly, “I’ll have Lieutenant Gaeta start scanning for a place for us to lay low. We’ll send the jump coordinates to the fleet as soon as we have them.” 

She sighed in relief as Bill nodded his approval, and they watched as the Colonel stepped through the hatch to complete his self-given orders. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, and Bill ran a hand over his tired face. 

“I know you’re right, Laura, but still...” 

“I know,” she whispered and understanding colored her words. She knew him better than anyone and she knew the internal war raging within him as he tried to navigate the external one. “We’re still fighting...we’re just changing the rules of the fight now.” 

“I know you’re trying to appeal to the military side of me,” he said softly, “but it’s the part of me that loves you and is just so relieved that you and Lee are alive and safe that’s seeing reason right now. I have to make sure you’re both safe...that you’ll survive.” 

Sensing that they needed a moment of privacy, Lee stood and prepared to leave. “I’m going to go check on Kara.” 

He was almost to the hatch when it all caught up to him. He turned and in a few quick strides, he was once more in front of his father and pulled him into a tight embrace. 

“We need you to survive too, Dad,” he spoke into his ear, his voice thick with emotions. “We need you.” 

His father’s hold on him tightened and though they had a long way to go to fully restore their relationship, this was a good start. “Make things right with her,” he whispered before pulling away and once more heading towards the hatch. 

Lee glanced back to see a smile spreading across Laura’s face, and he returned it before stepping out into the corridor in search of Kara. 

“So....” she offered playfully, and he felt the weight of the day settle over him. 

“I thought I’d lost you, Laura,” he said and shrugged his shoulders helplessly. 

She felt the emotions clogging her throat and moisture pool in her eyes. “I thought I’d lost you too, Bill.” 

She felt the weight of his eyes on her and a sudden nervousness of what would come next swarmed over her. She glanced around the room until her eyes locked onto his desk where the backs of two picture frames were visible. Lee’s words from the raptor flitted through her mind and nervousness gave room for affection. 

“I’m here, though,” She offered and held her breath as she waited for his response. 

He took a cautious step towards her. “You’re here.” 

“And so are you...” she offered further. 

“I am,” he replied and moved another step in her direction. 

“I never made Admiral,” he shrugged, and she held her breath as he moved into her space. 

She swallowed hard and tried to keep the tears that were welling up in her eyes from falling. “That’s okay...I have nowhere to run.” 

“Saul was just...” 

“I know,” she said and offered him a small smile. “He’s your best friend and he loves you, but I love you too.” 

He reached up to brush the back of his fingers across her cheek. “You do?” 

“Uh-huh,” she said with a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. 

He cupped her cheek in his hand. “The way that Saul loves me?” he teased, and her eyes danced with a happiness she thought she’d never experience again. 

She shook her head and the smirk spread fully across her lips as she replied, "Nuh-uh."

“Prove it,” he challenged and her heart raced in anticipation. 

“Yes, sir. Okay, sir. Anything you say, sir,” she whispered as she tiptoed up to catch his lips with hers. 

She felt his kiss heat her from head to toe, and her gasp of pleasure allowed him to angle his lips and deepen the kiss. Her cheek was cupped tenderly in his large hand, and her back burned where the other one rested. Her entire body was humming with desire, and she was breathless as they pulled away. 

He rested his forehead to hers as the each stood there with eyes closed gathering themselves. 

“As soon as we find somewhere safe to regroup, we’ll come back here and make up for lost time,” she whispered, and he pressed his lips to hers again. 

“Agreed.” 

The took another moment to hold each other close before pulling back and settling into their professional personas once more. 

“We should...” she began but her words were cut off by the alarm klaxons. With a quick glance toward each other, they were quickly making their way through the hatch and to the C.I.C. 

She just hoped they'll get the chance. 


	12. Chapter 12

“Report,” he called out as they entered the CIC. 

The room was a bustle of activity and noise. It was a far cry from the quiet orderly room Laura had encountered when she'd toured the ship. It felt like a lifetime ago now rather than just a collection of hours. 

Saul turned towards them from the Dradis screen he was studying with a grim expression on his face. 

“I sent Starbuck out for recon, and she just reported back. It’s not good, Bill.” 

Bill's jaw clenched. “What do you see, Starbuck?” he asked wanting to hear firsthand how bad the situation was. 

There was a moment of static before her voice filled the air, “I didn’t get an accurate account, but it looks like two Basestars with ten fighter squadrons and two recon drone detachments patrolling the area.” 

The tension in the room grew as the gravity of their situation sank in. “Starbuck, were you followed?” Saul asked. 

“Negative. No sign of pursuit. By the way they were deployed, I’d say they’re waiting for us to come to them.” The XO and Commander shared a look. 

“Bring her home,” Bill called out to Dualla and listened as her voice cut through the resigned silence of the CIC. 

“Thank you, Starbuck, continue present course, return to visual contact and stand by for instruction.” 

Bill looked over at Lee as his mind tried to work through possible strategies. Even with all of the ammunition they just picked up from the station, Galactica wouldn't last long against two Basestars. 

“Captain,” he called out and gestured for Lee to join them at the console. 

“How the hell did they find us?” Saul asked as Lee approached the console, and Bill shook his head. Years of military training allowed him to maintain a stoic facade despite the way that the situation was weighing on him and Fear was trying to tap its icy fingers upon his shoulders. 

“Doesn’t really matter. They’ve got us.” 

“Why aren’t they coming in after us?” Laura asked and though all eyes turned to the Commander for answers, it was Colonel Tigh who spoke up. 

“Why should they? They can just sit out there and wait us out. What difference does it make to them? They’re machines. We’re the ones that need food, medicine, and fuel.” 

Bill shook his head and rubbed his hand across his brow in tired resignation. “I’m not going to play their game. I’m not going to go out there and try to fight ‘em,” he said and noticed the relief flicker across Laura’s face. 

“Can we plot a jump from inside the storm?” she asked, but Saul shook his head in frustration and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“With all this EM interference mucking up the FTL fix?” He growled, and Gaeta spoke up in support. 

“I tend to agree, Sir. I don’t think we should attempt a jump until we clear the storm threshold.” 

“We’d have to be quick about it though,” Lee piped in. “They’ll launch everything they have first glimpse they get.” 

Saul nodded and looked over the maps and readings they had on the storm surrounding the station. “Could stick our nose out just far enough to get a good FTL fix, then jump,” he suggested gruffly. 

“What about the civilians?” Laura asked and watched as Saul shrugged. 

“They’re probably safe for the time being,” he replied, and Lee’s eyes moved to him in surprise. 

“You mean leave them here?” Lee asked incredulously and looked to Laura and then his father. 

Once again it was Gaeta who answered. “Cylons may not even know they’re here in the first place. Probably only after us,” he tried to assure, but the President wasn’t convinced. 

“That’s one hell of an assumption,” she argued. 

Saul crossed his arms across his chest once more. Agitation was written clearly on his face. “Well, we can’t very well cram 50,000 men, women, and children aboard this ship.” 

Lee’s eyes narrowed, and he pressed his palms onto the console as he leaned forward. “No one is suggesting that, Sir. I’m just saying they should jump with us.” 

“I don’t see how we can manage that without jeopardizing our ship,” Gaeta replied with worry marring his features. Silence settled over the group until an idea struck the young viper pilot.

“We pick a jump spot far outside the combat zone,” Lee suggested as he studied the monitors, but the XO's brows shot up to his thinning hairline. 

“What the hell is outside the combat zone at this point?” Saul growled and Laura rubbed her temples with her fingertips to alleviate the tension headache she felt coming on. 

The argument went on around him, but Bill tuned out the noise as his eyes narrowed in on Laura and his son. 

He wouldn’t risk their lives, and he sure as hell wasn’t leaving them behind. There was only one option that he was willing to consider. 

“We’re gonna take the civilians with us. We’re gonna leave this solar system and we’re not gonna come back,” he spoke and all attention was directed to him once more. 

Saul studied his friend for a moment and then slowly nodded, “So where are we going?” 

“The Prolmar Sector,” Bill replied, and surprise painted his XO’s face. 

“That’s way past the red line,” Saul pointed out, but Bill gave it no response. 

He turned to Gaeta. “Can you plot that jump?” 

A nervous expression filled his eyes and his voice wavered a little as he answered. “I’ve never plotted a jump that far, Sir.” 

“No one has. Can you plot that jump?” Bill asked again, and his Commander’s tone had the young lieutenant straightening his spine. 

“Yes, Sir,” he stated with more confidence than he clearly felt, but Bill didn’t have the time to second guess. 

“Do it. By yourself,” he ordered, and Gaeta nodded obediently. “This is a bad tactical position,” Bill stated as he studied the maps of the storm and surrounding space. “We’ll pull the Galactica out five klicks. The civilians will come out behind us, cross the threshold, and make the jump while we hold off the Cylons. Once the civilians have made the jump, every fighter has to make an immediate combat landing. We won’t have much time.” 

“I’ll tell them,” Lee offered and turned to leave, but Bill gently grabbed his son’s arm. 

“I want all my pilots to return. Do you understand?” he said and watched the emotions flicker across Lee's face. 

“Yes, sir, I do,” Lee answered, and there was a slight tremor to his voice. He nodded to his father and then turned to leave the C.I.C. 

Bill once more turned to his XO. “Get everything ready, Colonel. I’m going to get the President to her transport.” 

“Bill, I’m not...” she tried to say, but he interrupted her with a firm tone. 

“It’s not up for argument. You need to be on your ship and make the jump.” 

She nodded slowly not willing to have this argument in the middle of the C.I.C in front of his men. 

Instead, she turned and made her way towards the exit with him trailing right behind her. As they walked, she mentally prepared her argument. She wasn’t going to leave, and it was unreasonable of him to expect her to just flee to safety while he was here putting his life on the line. She never had been one to just sit back and wait when things got tough. 

Activity bustled around them as they made their way through the long hallways occasionally having to press against the walls to get out of the way. Men and women were preparing for battle, and she felt an uncomfortable realization move through her. 

This was a warship, and the man she loved was its commander. 

Her chest tightened as the reality of their situation slammed into her. 

They reached the hangar deck where Billy and her Raptor were waiting, and she turned to face him. He squared his shoulders preparing for a fight and surprise lit his features when she reached up to cup his cheek instead. Her hands were shaking and a sheen of moisture coated her eyes.

“I’m leaving here...because I don’t want you to worry about me...and I know what you have to do.” 

The emotions were thick in her voice, and he felt his chest tighten as affection and understanding radiated from his eyes. 

“I just have to make sure you’re safe, Laura,” he explained softly and she nodded in understanding. She needed him to be safe too...to survive and grow old with her. 

“I know,” she sighed and reached up to press a kiss to his lips. 

She pulled away but his lips followed and caught hers more fully as his hands slipped under her arms and pulled her close. 

Her hands flew up momentarily surprised but moved to hold his face between her palms as love and passion took over her senses. 

A moment later he pulled away to allow them to catch their breath as he pressed his face into her neck and shoulder. 

She brushed her fingers through his thick hair and smiled. The soft texture beneath her fingers felt exactly as she remembered it. She bit her bottom lip to keep the sob climbing up her throat from slipping past her lips. This was hard enough on them both without her breaking in front of him, and they needed to be strong to survive what was coming. She took a shuddering breath to settle herself before pulling back to look into his eyes. 

“Please be safe, Bill. I can’t lose you again,” she whispered, and he smiled sadly knowing exactly what this goodbye was costing her...what it was costing them both. 

“I’ll send a raptor for you as soon as this is over,” he promised and placed a kiss to the crown of her head as he pulled away, and she offered him a soft smile. 

“You better,” she replied and straightened her suit as she took a step back. 

She turned to board the Raptor, but the weight of it all hit her again and she turned back to him with shining eyes. 

“I love you, Bill, and I’ll see you soon.” 

His heart flooded with confidence at her words. He would get them through this next crisis and see her again. Nothing would stop him from finally being with her. He straightened his spine and looked at her with determination. “Yes, you will, Laura. I love you too.” 

“I know,” she whispered and offered him one last smile before turning and accepting the hand he offered as he helped her up the side of the Raptor. She didn’t glance back as she stepped inside the hatch and took her seat next to Billy. 

He stood there watching until the hatch closed and the Raptor began its pre-flight routine. 

He would do everything possible to make sure they both survived this. 

He strolled confidently into the C.I.C once more mentally trying to block out his worry and focus on the task before him. 

“Mr. Gaeta, do you have the jump coordinates ready?” 

The lieutenant nodded nervously, “Yes, Sir, if you’d like to have someone check them over....” 

“Have you checked them over yourself?” Bill interrupted and Felix squared his shoulders as he answered. 

“Three times, Sir.” 

“Then they’re good,” Bill replied and placed a reassuring hand on the young man’s shoulder. “I trust you, Mr. Gaeta, and if you say they’re right, then they’re right.” 

“They’re right, Sir,” he replied with a newfound surge of confidence coloring his tone. 

“Then send them to the fleet,” he ordered and watched him nod in compliance. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

He stepped closer to his XO and issued his next order. “Colonel Tigh, stand by to execute battle plan...” 

“Aye, Sir,” Saul said and then picked up the wireless to call the alarm. “Action stations, action stations. All stations report for duty.” 

'This was it' Bill thought. Only one way out. “Helm, lay in a course for five klicks outside of the storm. Let’s have the FTL spun and ready to make the jump as soon as the last civilian ship has jumped away and our birds have landed. We won’t have time for errors. Has the President’s raptor arrived at Colonial One?” 

Gaeta checked his monitors and then looked up at his superior. “Yes, Sir. Colonial One reports they have the President safely onboard and their FTL is spun up and ready to make the jump.” 

He felt his heart relax in relief. “Good. Helm, take us forward.” 

He said a silent prayer to all of the gods he didn’t believe in that Laura’s ship would make the jump, and that his son would return to Galactica safe and unharmed. His own survival held no importance to him if the ones he loved weren’t with him when this was over. 

“Sir, we’re approaching the edge of the storm,” Gaeta called out, and Bill squared his shoulders as he focused on the monitors above him. 

“Ready our firing solution. We need to create a path for the civilian fleet to clear the storm and jump,” he ordered and watched as each of his men moved to perform their duties. They were a young crew, but they were trained and each and every one of his officers had stepped up and performed their duty today. He couldn’t be prouder of them. 

“Weapons grid to full power,” Saul reported. “Stand by enemy suppression barrage.” 

“Incoming," Lieutenant Gaeta called out in alarm. ”72 Cylon fighters, closing at 1-2-0 mark 4-8.” 

Bill kept calm and moved ahead with their plan. “Enemy suppression fire, all batteries execute.” 

“All batteries commence firing,” Saul replied in an equally calm tone. 

Galactica released a spray of fire at the Cylon raiders, and the sky lit up like fireworks around them. Slowly the ship moved forward as they continued to clear the way for the civilian fleet harboring the remaining members of their race. 

“Perimeter established!” Gaeta confirmed, and the commander and XO watched the monitors. 

“Launch vipers,” Adama ordered and listened as the order went out. 

“Vipers clear to launch.” 

The screens lit up with the signals of vipers as they left the launch tubes and took up formation. Lee’s voice filled the airway. “Broken formation: Razzle Dazzle. Don’t let ‘em use their targeting computers. And for frak’s sake, stay out of Galactica’s firing solution.” 

“Vipers in position” Gaeta reported. 

With a nod to Saul, he initiated the next step. “Signal vipers engage fighters only. Leave Basestars to us. Execute.” 

"Galactica to all civilian ships, commence jumping in sequence,” Saul commanded, and the first ship blinked off the screen. 

"Incoming ordinance!” Gaeta cried out, and they felt the ship shudder under the barrage of enemy fire. 

The ship continued to shake and shudder as it bore the impact of the hits to protect the fleet. 

Saul's voice rang out, “They’re targeting the landing bays. We gotta get those fighters back on board and retract the pods or we won't be able to jump.” 

Bill gripped the edge of the console to keep himself on his feet as Galactica lurched again. “Fleet status?” 

Gaeta shook his head as he worked furiously at his station. “There’s one more civilian ship. Colonial One has yet to jump.” His panic-filled eyes looked up to meet his superior’s. “Sir, there’s an inbound missile heading right for it.” 

Bill tensed and swallowed hard to keep the panic from gripping him. “Can you get a lock?” 

The Lieutenant’s head shook and despair took over his features. “No sir, not without the risk of hitting....” 

Suddenly Starbucks voiced flooded the comm. “Woohoo! Looks like I just saved your girl Old man!” she cried out with adrenaline-filled glee, and his eyes closed in relief. 

"Sir, Colonial One has jumped away,” Gaeta reported, and Bill felt like he could finally breathe again. 

"Recall all fighters. Stand by to secure landing bays,” he ordered and watched the monitors as Dualla called out his command. 

"Galactica to all vipers, break off. Come on home. Repeat, come on home.” 

One by one the blips on the monitors moved towards the ship before blinking out to signal their safe landing. The petty officer called out the safe arrival of each one. 

"Viper 1026 aboard....1110 aboard....1209 aboard...” 

Lieutenant Gaeta moved to each station with a clipboard in hand checking with each officer as they prepared to make their jump. 

“FTL?” 

“Go.” 

“Sublight?” 

“Go” 

“Board is green. Ship ready for jump as soon as landing bay is secure.” 

Alarms blared as Galactica took another hit. Bill fell forward over the console as the wall of glass shattered behind him. 

"Two vipers still out there, Sir.” Dualla called out over the noise. “Starbuck and Apollo.” 

“We can’t stand toe to toe with those base ships,” Tigh yelled as he righted himself and grabbed the wireless to issue orders. “Retract the pods.” 

Bill’s chest tightened at the realization that his children were out there and they were out of time. “I can’t leave them here,” he said quietly and picked up the wireless. “Patch me through to Starbuck.” 

“Sir,” Dualla replied and nodded to ensure him the line was open. 

"What do you hear?” he asked but was met with eerie silence “Starbuck, Galactica. What do you hear? 

"What?” she called out, and he could hear the sounds of battle through her end of the line. 

"Morning, Starbuck. What do you hear?” he tried again. 

"Nothing but the rain,” she replied and he could almost hear the grin in her voice. 

It was a risky move, but if anyone could pull it off it was his Kara. He took a breath and then called out the order. “Then grab your gun and bring the cat in.” 

"Aye, aye, Sir!” she gleefully replied. “Coming home!” 

His son’s voice filled the C.I.C. “I’m losing power. I’m not going to make it. Starbuck, just leave me and head home. That’s an order!” 

"Lee! Shut up and hold still!” 

The Commander held his breath, and his heart held an erratic rhythm as he waited. Finally, the call from the hangar deck came through. 

“Apollo and Starbuck are on deck. Landing pod’s secure.” 

Without hesitation, the Commander of the Battlestar Galactica called out the order. 

“Jump!” 

This time there was no hesitation as she climbed from her raptor and moved straight into his waiting arms. He held her tight and kissed the top of her head, not bothered in the least by the watchful eyes of his crew milling around them in the busy hangar deck. 

“Promise you won’t leave me again,” he sighed into her hair as he held her. 

“Never,” she managed to choke out through the emotions overwhelming her. 

A throat clearing got their attention and she turned to see Lee and Saul Tigh standing there watching uncomfortably. 

He reached down and took her hand in his own. "Come on...let's head to our quarters." 

"Ours?" She questioned with an arched brow. 

"You just promised you wouldn't leave me again," he reminded her, and a smile pulled at her lips. 

"That I did, Sir," she nodded. "Lead the way." 

They walked silently back to his quarters and she squeezed his hand occasionally in a mixture of relief and affirmation that they were alive and together once more. She turned to him once they stepped through the hatch. Her stomach was in knots as her mind whirred trying to come up with the best way to broach the topic at hand. She was reluctant to break the newfound understanding they had reached in their personal relationship, but they needed all the cards on the table if they had any hope of moving forward together. 

She clasped her hands tightly in front of her body as her eyes locked with his. “You planning to stage a military coup?” 

“What?” he asked surprised by her question and not quite sure what she was asking. 

“Do you plan to declare martial law? Take over the government?” she tried again, and his eyes narrowed. 

“Of course not,” he replied without hesitation, and she nodded in response still unsure of herself and where they stood professionally. 

“Then you do acknowledge my position as president, as duly constituted under the Articles of Colonization?” 

His jaw clenched under her questioning and the defensive remark sat on the tip of his tongue, but his eyes searched hers and he saw the hesitation and insecurities in her look. He swallowed his pride, and his heart determined to make sure she had no doubts about the faith he had in her. “I believe in you, Laura. If anyone can lead these people, it’s you, and I’ll stand behind you all the way.” 

Her chest tightened almost painfully as the promise of his support filled her soul. “Not behind me, Bill,” she counter-offered, “We’ll need to do this together. Side by side.” 

“You’ll lead the government,” he nodded, “but all military decisions remain with me.” 

“Agreed,” she said with a nod, and he reached out his hand to seal the agreement. 

She smiled and reached out her hand to settle into his as they willingly sealed their fates to move forward together from that moment forward as leaders of the human race. Their destiny was linked together as tightly as the hand that held her own. 

The ringing of the wireless broke the moment, and he moved to answer it. 

“We’ll be right there,” he replied and placed the phone back into its cradle on the wall as he moved back to where she was waiting. 

“The crew is gathered and waiting for us.” 

She nodded and smoothed her jacket before squaring her shoulders and pulling her newly acquired presidential mask in place. “Then let’s not keep them waiting,” she said, and he nodded in response. 

Side by side they made their way down to address Galactica’s crew. She felt a sense of relief each time that their shoulders brushed knowing that they would do this together as a team. No matter what conclusion they reached in their personal relationship, she would not be alone in her role as leader. The greatest man she knew would be beside her to share the weight and burdens of the responsibility. 

Moments later as she watched him standing behind the podium and infusing his crew with hope, she felt a strength she’d never known bubbling up inside her. She’d never intended to be President, and she’d certainly never asked for the role that destiny had just thrust her into, but as the shouts of, “So say we all!” began to grow with confidence around her, she stood tall and straight under the weight of it all. She would rise to the challenge. 

They all would. 

Hours later the civilian fleet had been accounted for, informed, and prepared for the first stage of their journey to commence. There was an air of hope floating through the ship as she made her way to the Commander’s quarters. Her mind replayed his speech as she walked. It had been a long day, and the emotional toll was finally catching up to her. She had almost lost him too many times to count. Now that things had settled for the moment, she knew they had a lot to discuss both professionally and personally. The relief she felt knowing he was alive and had not gone back to the colonies settled over her and caused tears to sting the backs of her eyes. She needed to thank him for that. She also needed to address what he said in his impromptu speech and a certain promise he had made. 

She smiled at the guards as they granted her entrance and offered a shy smile to Bill as he wiped his mouth clean. She was relieved that he’d finally found the time to force himself to eat something. 

She sat down next to him on the couch as she tried to figure out what to say. “First thing...I suppose that I should thank you for...” 

“Listen, you were right about not going back to the colonies...and I was wrong,” he interrupted with a sigh, “Let’s just leave it at that.” 

A smirk tugged the corner of her lips. “I don’t know...I think I might need you to repeat that a few more times...” she teased, and he shook his head. 

She watched him carefully from where she sat next to him and her next words were knowing but free of accusation. “There’s no earth. You made it all up.” 

He looked up and his eyes met hers. He would never lie to her. “You’re right. There is no earth. It’s all a legend. You going to tattle on me?” 

“No...” she smiled at his words, but then her look turned serious. “but why did you promise them that?” 

“Because...” he sighed “it’s not enough to live. You have to have something to live for. I’ve spent the last ten years figuring that out. The career....all of this...meant nothing without you to share it with, Laura. They need something to live for...let it be earth.” 

“They’ll never forgive you,” she said softly, and he shrugged his shoulders in resignation. 

“Maybe...but in the meantime...I’ve given all of us the chance to survive. Isn’t that what you said was most important?” 

She studied him for a moment and a sweet smile spread across her lips. “And just what is it you’re living for, Commander?” 

“The chance to make this right with us, Laura," he replied earnestly, and her heart raced with the way the emotions made his voice sound rough and broken. "I'm living for the chance to live the life we should have...together. We wasted so much time...” 

“And we’ll make up for it. All of it,” she promised and took his larger hand, and held it between her own. “We’ll make up for all those days and lonely nights apart. We’ll fuss with each other and argue...and then enjoy all the glorious makeup sex we missed out on. We’ll be tired and overwhelmed more days than not, but we’ll come home to each other at the end of each day like we always should have. That’s what we’re living for, Bill. You and I.” 

There were unshed tears in his eyes as his gaze took her in. “This has to be all in with us, Laura. If that’s not what you want then I need to know now.” 

His heart stopped as she slowly slipped her hands from his and her own eyes filled with tears. Fear gripped him and the thought of her walking away again overwhelmed him. 

Sensing his distress, she offered him a watery smile as she reached the top of her blouse and dipped her fingers beneath the collar to tug a dainty chain up and over her head. He watched as she unclasped the chain and held her most prized possession in her open palm out for him to see. 

“I’ve held onto this all this time...just in case,” she explained, and his heart raced as he took in the engagement ring that he’d slipped onto her finger over a decade earlier. 

“Care to try this again?” she whispered, and his eyes looked up to find hers filled with nervous anticipation. 

She shivered as his fingertips brushed her palm. He picked up the ring and held it between his fingers as he used his other hand to gently flip hers over. His thumb stroked her knuckles for a moment as he took a deep breath and met her gaze once more. 

“Marry me, Laura, and never leave me,” he pleaded, and tears rolled down her cheeks as a brilliant smile spread across her face. 

She had a second chance. She had spent over a decade paying dearly for letting this man go, and she would never be foolish enough to make that mistake again. “You’ll never be free of me again, Bill,” she whispered, and he shook his head in response. 

“I haven’t been free of you since the moment we met, Laura. You’re in my blood.” 

"Mmm..." she hummed as tears blurred her vision. She shook her head in recognition of the words from one of their favorite books and reached her free hand up to brush her fingers through the hair at his temple. 

“I love you,” she sighed, and his hand reached up to reverently brush her tears away. 

Her eyes closed as his lips met hers, and her entire being hummed in response. She would never grow tired of the feelings he evoked. 

Bill Adama was her essential...the one thing in her world that without which she could not bear living. She’d tried and found her life was empty without him. Without him, life lost its specific value...became...abstract. 

They would carve out a life for themselves amongst the weight of their responsibilities, and no matter what it took, she would never leave his side again. 

They would survive this journey. 

Together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for patiently sticking with me throughout this story. The kudos and kind comments were such an encouragement and made writing this story so much more enjoyable. Thanks for making me feel so welcome in this fandom!


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